My Mosaic

Hey @Snowie thanks for always stopping by. I always appreciate your kind words and support.
I’ve really struggled today. My thoughts are not good and I am in a lot of pain.
I have done a little bit of painting, but not as much as I needed to 😩

how has your day been?

@Bow you are super important to me hon. I will always stop by, you are defiantly worth it.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling and it has been a difficult day.

It sounds like your pain is hard to deal with. Can you take something for it or is it not that type of pain? I'm sorry about your thoughts too. I know how hard they can be to deal with.

Somedays can be such a struggle. Perhaps think of it as at least you got something done. It may not have been as much as you want, but it is better than none at all.

Have you got any plans for the rest of the day/night? I am around if you need some company.

I had ECT this morning, so home just resting now. Just spoke to the pdoc and he has booked me in again for four weeks time. Hopefully it helps keep me out of hospital this time.

Thanks @Snowie hon, you are important to me too. Sometimes it’s sucks that it’s all online.

yeah I’m not sure if pain killers will help, I guess I could try. I’ve always wondered how pain killers know where you pain is?? Like how do they know where to target what they do??

yeah I guess I’ve managed to get some of it done. It’s hard when I don’t have much motivation to do this painting. I have other art stuff I really wanna do. I did do a little bit this arvo.

Don’t really have any plans. We put a movie on, but D has gone back to her room already.
trying to think what we can do tomorrow. I want to try and do something with her. Otherwise we get to Sunday night and I feel guilty. We may do market Sunday, depending on the weather.

does ECT wipe you out for the day? I remember when I had it last year I was mostly fine to continue on with my day. We’re all different though. It would be a good excuse to rest though. Rest is so important. Do you have weekend plans??

It does suck that it is online sometimes @Bow IRL I actually have no real friends. No one that I get together with, or go out with, or would sit down and talk with. The only people I associate with is hubby's friends.

I have often wondered that about pain killers too. I'm no doctor but maybe they might be able to help, especially if the pain is getting to the unbearable stage.

It is hard to find the motivation at times to do things, especially when all we want to do is curl up and do nothing. Sometimes doing something when you feel like this, is a huge achievement hon. Something you should be really proud of.

It's hard sometimes to fill in the weekends, especially when all we want to do is stay at home. Please remember that quiet weekends are ok to have too hon. That not every weekend needs to be filled. Sometimes just spending time together at home is enough.

Does D normally come to the market with you?

I normally bounce back ok after ECT. I am lucky that I rarely get any side effects. I am a bit tired but I think that is more to do with waking up extremely early than the ECT itself.

Haven't really got any plans for the weekend. D is working most of the time and S is working all day Sunday. I do need to take him for a haircut tomorrow however.

Is tonight a movie night? Are there any shows on tv that you like watching?

I’m sorry you don’t have any friends @Snowie makes me sad cause you’re such a lovely person. I’d sit down and have a cuppa with ya any day.
in saying that, I don’t have many friends. I have church people. But I have no real contact with any one outside of church. I have my old pastors/ best friend/ second family. But they travel so much now so they ain’t around much. AND, they are moving in the near future closer to the city, so I won’t see them much then. I’m fairly sad about that.

I should go take some pain killers and see if they help. Pain is pretty bad at the moment. It’s my own fault though. Consequence of an ED behaviour 😩

Yeah motivation is hard. Curling up in bed feels like the best option at times. Other times I am in the mood to do art and will spend hours. But that doesn’t happen much. I need to get some work done though. Got some big markets coming up that I want to build up my stock for.

I like to at least take daughter out for morning tea of a weekend. And yes she comes to market. She likes it cause she gets to sit and use my iPad for the whole time! I wonder if I can somehow take my painting along!??

im glad you bounce back quickly from ECT. I really hope the ongoing maintenance ECT helps you hon.

we usually put a movie on when we get take out on Friday nights. But D goes once she has finished eating, unless it’s a good movie she likes, which isn’t very often. So mum and I usually end up changing the movie. We are onto movie 2 now.

Even growing up I didn't have many friends @Bow I rarely went out with people or to events. Was always doing sport and just not into socializing.

Both my kids are the exact opposite 😁

Hopefully you can still stay in contact with them when they move. Might even be a good excuse to go on a trip and see them.

I'm sorry about your pain hon. I can understand it is from your ED behaviour, but I wouldn't say it is your fault. It's not as if you ask for it. You don't set out to have this pain.

I so wish I could attend a market that you go to. Just seeing a few pieces you have shown us on here, I would defiantly buy some of your art work.

It's good that you have your art that you like doing, even if motivation is hard to find at times. You certainly have a lot of talent hon. Do you ever do custom pieces for people?

I'm sure D loves going to the market and playing on the ipad! What kid wouldn't.

Did you see that Aldi has art stuff on sale tomorrow? Was thinking of going to check it out.

We normally put a movie on Friday nights too. I don't find much else is on tv.

@Snowie Yeah I’ve done some custom pieces for people. I’ve had folks contactme via FB and also through markets. Custom pieces stress me out a little bit cause people want them done a certain way. Whereas pieces that I’ve made and people buy know what they are buying from the start… if that makes sense?!

yes I seen that aldi have art supplies. I might go have a look. I need some more white paint. I also need to get a large watercolor pad. But don’t think aldi will have them but there is a variety store next to aldi that will.

I took some painkillers and I think it’s actually helped. Thank goodness! Thank you!

im about to tuck daughter into bed and then go crawl into bed myself. Have a good night hon x

ohh I wish I could order a custom piece from you @Bow!!! I'm sure everyone that orders a piece loves them and comes back for seconds.

I'm glad the pain killers help. Hopefully you don't have to take them again today and the pain can stay away. I guess at least you know that they help if it does come back.

Hoping you got some sleep last night and you find something to do today with D and that the day goes well for you.

Have you got much to organise for tomorrow's market?

Need to head up the street soon with S (when he finally wakes up!) The joy of being a teenager 😴

He needs a haircut badly.

Hey @Snowie hope your back from getting sons haircut and now just chilling.

I had a rough night. I’m kinda use to nightmares, but every now and again I have one that really throws me. I had one of them last night. I can’t shake it.

but I managed to get to the shops and get the few things that I needed and took d out for morning tea. Spent a few hours painting and now I’m gonna chill too.

just have to pack the car for market. Not really much to organise.

This is approx 9hrs of work. So much still to go- I blurred it twice, hope it’s ok to share