My Mosaic

Same same @tyme very low high SI shitty day

my SW stopped by briefly this morning cause she is concerned, but nothing she can do.
Spent the day in bed.

hey @Bow i’m really sorry to hear you’re having a tough day. it’s good that your SW came by to check on you, even if there’s not much they can do right now - sometimes just having someone acknowledge what you’re going through can be a small comfort.

would like some distraction or to talk about it? let me know what you need, we're here 💗

Thanks @rav3n but I can’t talk about it. Not on here. I’ll just get in trouble and sent packing.
appreciate your reply, but I got nothing left. I’m so sorry.

Even if you just wanted a distraction, we’re here @Bow . Anything to take your mind off things? Is D with you?

This is what I was telling my SW about today @tyme nothing seems to help to take my mind if it. I can keep myself busy all day, but that only keeps my hands busy, my mind doesn’t stop. I can be doing the nicest thing, but thinking the baddest of things.
I just want my head to stop. Dd

i hear you @Bow it’s so tough when your mind just won’t give you a break, even when you’re doing things you usually enjoy.

does narrating help? when i've had those dark thoughts consistently pop up, i start narrating what i'm doing (either in my mind or out loud, out loud helped me more). for example:
"i'm turning the lights on, i'm walking to the left, i'm grabbing a snack and going back to sit down. this sofa is comfy, let me see what's on netflix, etc" and then when the dark thoughts pop up i even narrate that as "nope i'm not letting that thought in today, today is for good thoughts. any other thoughts that are popping up are just there to mess with me". narrating those words aloud (or even in your mind if you can't speak out loud) helps focus on the words your saying rather than those intrusive thoughts.

i know that this method requires some energy too, it might not be for everyone, but i thought i'd share and see if its something you've tried or something you'd like to give a go?

I wonder if it’s a bit like me in that it’s about learning to just accept and sit with those thoughts? Thoughts don’t mean action. @Bow What do you think?

Thanks @rav3n @tyme

Not heard of that before @rav3n maybe I’ll give it a go sometime.

@tyme I know you had good success in learning to just accept the thoughts. But I don’t know if I can do it. They are far too scary and dark. I’m sorry

I'm not sure I can say I had 'good success' with accepting the thoughts. Accepting the thoughts doesn't mean you agree with them or like them.

Accepting the thoughts was allowing them to be there rather than actively pushing them away. I found that the more I tried to push them away, the stronger they got and the worse I felt.

Nowadays, I still have the thoughts - all the time. They aren't nice or pleasant thoughts but it doesn't stop my daily functioning.

Sorry if I'm not making sense @Bow

That makes sense @tyme im glad you can somehow function with them still there. Not something I wanna do though

How you have recovered has always amazed me tyme, but it’s not for me, it’s too out of reach.
im gonna go I’m sorry take care please