My Mosaic

i feel like i am drowning and just can not catch my breath. nothing is going right.

Sorry to hear that @Bow

Sitting here with you hun.

An hour at a time 💞

I know the feeling, I wish I could give some profound advice that would make you feel better.
You were one of the first people to reach out on this forum when I joined not too long ago, with all you're going through, knowing that you could still take that time to be so kind when I was in need meant so much to me. I'm not a big poster on here or much of a talker in real life, always afraid I'll say the wrong thing, but since I can't fix everything with a post I just wanted you to know that you've had a positive impact on me and I bet the list of people who feel the same is a long one.
Right now is the time to focus on you, take help from wherever you need to get it, tag me anytime you need me to pop back on, at the very least I'm a good listener.

I dread the delivery of meals here I just can't take it anymore. Dinner tonight was so freaking hard. I sat and cried and I'm still crying. They don't even try to understand the battle that I face. I'm a mess tonight, anxiety is horrible, I just want to get out of here and I don't know any other way to make things easier or better than ending things.

Hey @Bow, I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling so much right now. I'm going to send an email to check in & sitting here with you as you navigate this rough road. 💖

this morning I came very close to getting up and walking out. I've had enough just sitting around doing nothing and getting nowhere. It triggered a lot of traumatic memories from many years ago and put me in bad place.

Late this afternoon I seen a dietitian that I can continue to see once home. Finally I had a conversation in person with someone that understood. Someone that understands why I think and do the things I do with food and didn't just tell me to eat. She asked the right questions to get me to think and then talk about it. She understands that there is a part of me... very small at the moment, that wants to get better, and that there is a big part of me controlled by this ED. We talked about how to move forward and step towards recovery.

It seems I am here for the weekend 😢😢

@Bow glad you had someone who understood you. I hope it helped even a little.

Here with you hon 💜💜

Hey @Bow,

I'm sorry to hear you may be in hospital a little longer- that's no fun! But also just wanted to say I'm really glad there's a support professional it sounds like you've clicked with, and that they're someone you may be able to continue seeing after you've gone home. I'm really happy for you in that regard and wishing you all the very best.

Take care 🌸

@Bow 🌷🌻💝

Thank you @Emelia8 @TideisTurning @Snowie

It has certainly been a day of ups and downs. Looking at the meal plan is really confronting and overwhelming and I was up front and honest with her in that I won't be able to stick to it, but I said I would try.