My Mosaic

@Bow oh nooooo regret!! Haha hopefully it'll still be there next time!

Yeah it can be kinda daunting! And I don't recall there being a map either lol. Fingers crossed the rain leaves us be!

@Jynx I seen my pdoc on Friday, he wants me to have ECT…. His tried all the meds 😩 looking at start Tuesday week

Oh a big step @Bow - very understandable to have some big feels about it. I am struggling to recall if you've had ECT before?

Yeah I had it like 20yrs ago…. And then had it last year too @Jynx it did help, but it also effects my memory and it’s just… I don’t know the inconvenience for everyone for 4 weeks… and it’s yuck

@Bow mm a common concern for sure, and very valid. Did you find it effective back then? I think I recall @Snowie talking about there being improvements to the process over the last couple decades so it may not be as bad as it was back then!

Do you have any appts between now and then where you can share your concerns?

Yeah they did say that last year when I had it… that it’s done differently so to not have such a big an impact on memory @Jynx i still had memory issues last year though.

I actually don’t 😩 I seen my psychologist on Wednesday and my pdoc didn’t make another appointment. He said he would speak with the team and get the ball rolling. He is going to organise it so it as much outpatient as possible….. I’m heaps worried… anxious that my pdoc thinks it can be done mostly all as an outpatient, but it actually can’t be.

@Bow oh true, yeah it is a difficult thing to sit with - our memories are part of our identity after all. Maybe part of the process could be keeping a journal and utilising it as a way of keeping tabs on your thought processes etc.

Sounds like it's all happening very quickly, which is also potentially quite anxiety-provoking. Maybe a silver lining is that you won't have to sit with that anxiety for as long if it's happening so soon? You know me, ever the optimist - and please do let me know if said optimism is invalidating at all.

So much dread facing another week. I’m so tired of this existence

Sounds like a tricky one @Bow . Any helpful thoughts as to how you can back it better?

No @tyme

it is what it is

shit

why bother