My Mosaic

I'm so glad you feel your pdoc really wants to help. That's so great to hear @Bow

Did you change pdoc's recently?

As much as it's feels hard that you have to wait to Thursday, I remember for me, appointments became a protective factor. It often kept me alive because I had accountability and needed to make the appointment to see the person. In a way, now looking back at it, as hard as it was, I must have wanted to recover. (I couldn't see it at the time though).

Is your D still on school holidays? Our kids here are into their 3 week back now, but the eldest has been sick and had a week off so she's all over the shop - again.... I think these kids are lost without the normality of school.

Yeah @tyme my old pdoc retired just after the new year I think it was. Was without one for a while and then got allocated to this one. His a guy…, which is a little troubling for me, but hopefully something I can work with. His got plans b and c and maybe even d. He actually thinks about things in appointments, gets on his computer and researches if he isn’t 100% sure and makes sure his doing things within the rules and regulations. His been around for a while.

I get what ya mean about appointments being protective factors. That use to very much be the way with my old psych appointments. Not my new one though. I don’t really have that with any appointments at the moment.

D is back to school on Tuesday. Thank goodness. She’s been pretty good though. Been trying to get myself through to when she goes back at least.
sorry your niece has been sick

got super mad today. Mums been through my room I think

I hear how hard it was transitioning to a male specialist.... actually, when I think about it now, all my 'good' ones were all male. However, I certainly know that's not for everyone. Good on you for giving it a go. If there comes a time when you don't feel comfortable, please speak up. I'm sure they will understand - they have to. @Bow

Even know, I still see a male psych I've had for years. He was my CM and then I 'followed' him into his private practice because we just connected. He challenged a lot of my thinking and his approach just seemed to work.

My BPD clinician was also male. He was so qualified. He had a different approach to my CM. This clinician was really really patient... every time I saw him, he was my calmative despite my heightened emotional state.

Long story short, connecting with the therapist is so important. I can see why changing people every few weeks can be so detrimental. I remember the letter you wrote. It was so true. Life is hard enough as it is without the need to be on tenterhooks all the time because you don't know who you will have in a few weeks time!

I'm glad your D will be back at school. They totally need it. Just a bit of normality and stability in life I guess.... mine here seem to get 'lost' during the holidays and they get very emotional and grouchy and start picking on each other.

I can see why'd you be upset if you believed your mum's been in your room. I guess it's your private space and it feels like an intrusion? Do you ever talk to her about your MH?

There are actually no female pdocs in the clinic now @tyme which is a shame. But it is what it is. I will just have to make sure I have clear boundaries…. Like no talking about certain things with him and always having a support person with me. I know he is there to help and I will just have to work with that.

I was very tempted to follow my old psych to her private practice. I connected with her so much. Turns out she has left there also and is now a state specialist in EDs and I get to do this group with her anyways.
I really don’t know what to do with my current psych. It’s been a year and I still don’t feel comfortable with her.
And I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I have to change support workers every 3 months. I’m still angry and frustrated by it. Maybe the manager will leave and the new one will have more sense.

yeah ya kinda get use to the routine of the holidays and then school goes back and ya have to get use to school routines again. Sigh. D went and see ghostbusters with my mum at the movies today. Now we are watching one on Netflix. I’m itching to go to bed though.

it’s not the first time it’s happened @tyme its does feel like a huge invasion of privacy. It hurts. Makes me very angry.

Good morning dear @Bow

Hoping today goes well for you hon.

Not long to go and you can have your day's back to yourself. Even though it is nice having the kids on holidays, it is also nice when they are at school!!

Sending lots of love 💗💗

Thanks @Snowie hope you Saturday has been alright. Been up to much?
I went to the shops, usually wander for a couple of hours but I had to get out of there before even an hour. I was so sleepy! And I was back to my normal meds last night!
I could have come home and slept the day away, but I really don’t like to sleep too much, so I did Lego instead. I finished the original Disney castle! She’s beautiful! I’m feeling more awake now too. So just a really slow day.

Yeah back to school Tuesday! Mum has market again tomorrow. So much for me saying only 2 markets a month. I’ve told her I’m not stay though. I’ll set her up and then leave. Then go back and help pack up. Just annoying that I gotta get up so early!

At least you got out of the house @Bow which is good.

Hopefully you get used to your meds quickly hon.

Awesome news about getting the Disney Castle completed. Now to find a spot to display it...

Sounds like it will be an early night tonight if you have to get up early in the morning to help your mum set up.

Spent most of the day under my blanket.

Feeling so incredibly flat tonight

head won’t stop

Good morning @Bow

No doubt you have been up for awhile helping your mum set up for the market.

I hope today goes ok for you hon.

Sending lots of 💕💕

Thanks @Snowie

Didn’t do as well this week at the market. But I didn’t stay around all day, came home once I helped set up. Mowed the lawns 😩Did have other plans but then had to go back down and help mum cause she was having technical difficulties 😩

fairly crappy day really. I’m ready for bed.

how was your day?