My Mosaic

Cool thanks @tyme

daughter has joined me in bed for a movie.

I have an appointment with my dietitian first thing in the morning. Fairly anxious about that.

I'm glad you have your daughter with you @Bow . Enjoy the movie.

It is understandable you feel anxious about the dietician. Remember, they are there to support you, and so are we 🙂

My dietitian is really lovely @tyme she has so much experience and knowledge about eating disorders and trauma. I’ve logged a lot of stuff in my recovery app the last couple of weeks. So there will no doubt be a lot of things to discuss. But my gp also wanted to speak to her, she asked me to call her when I was in the appointment but I explained that I do my appointments via Telehealth now. So she asked me to just get her to call her. So I stupidly? flicked my dietitian an email thinking maybe she might wanna speak with her before hand? Sigh. Now I’m scared they will scheme. Make a plan without me. My gp was pretty concerned

I'm so glad you have a strong rapport with your dietician. It can really make a difference in recovery. If you are concerned about the 'scheming', ask your dietician straight out. Let them know that's what's going through your mind. What I have found is it I let them know straight, it saves me ruminating and jumping to unhelpful conclusions. @Bow It's good for them to know that 'scheming' without including you is a big trigger.

I’m just scared they are both gonna team up and send me to hospital @tyme or both come to the conclusion that that’s where I need to be and contact comm mh who will send me.

im sure my dietitian will mention the email and whether she had called my gp.

It is natural to have these reservations, especially if you have been kept out of the loop in the past. It's certainly something to raise with your treating team as they won't know otherwise. @Bow

Anyway, I do have to hop off now. We can chat some more later in the week.

Please take care and keep us in the loop.

Urgh. I’m so tired of this battle. Exhausted and depleted today. And don’t know any other way out of where I currently am at.

I had my dietitian appointment this morning. I didn’t really want to be there. Really feel like I was just wasting her and my time. My dietitian had read my email about my gp wanting to speak to her and had read over my recovery logs.
We discussed some concerning? symptoms that I had been experiencing. And my dietitian explained what the cause of that could be and then asked knowing that information now how I felt about it. Whether it was enough for me to want to make changes. I said not really. It’s that real ambivalent part of me. And I guess the fact that this self destructive part of me is so much louder at the moment.
We again talked about ways to increase my fluids. We have a kind of plan in place. But the likelihood of me doing it??

We then had a frank discussion about a hospital admission. Where I’m at medically. We did a pros and cons for going into hospital and then one for not going. And she listed of numerous things that if they continue to occur or happen then an admission would be required.

She explained that she had not made the call to my gp yet because she prefers to speak with me first. Get my permission on what she was allowed to tell me gp. I appreciate that in my dietitian.

my gp called me this afternoon as planned. I don’t believe she had yet spoken with my dietitian. But I gave her a brief rundown on how my appointment went. She decided to give my pdoc a call.

Bloods tomorrow. Don’t wanna get them done. Then my gp on Wednesday.

sigh. It’s all shit. I’m in a really shitty place. And don’t give any shits.

I don’t know what to say @Bow other than I care about you and that your life really matters to me as does your current wellbeing.

Praying this time improves soon and that your days become more manageable.

Meanwhile can I interest you in a cuppa?

🩵💙🩵

Thanks @Eve7 thanks for caring.

Maybe I could try a cuppa. At least the company would be nice. Feeling pretty alone at the moment.

Can totally imagine how exhausted you'd be @Bow sounds like it's piles and piles of appts. Here for you hun, always happy to stay for a cuppa.