@Karri
Hello Karri
Thank you for posting on this forum about your circumstances, past and present.
It appears, from your post, that 14 years ago, the death of two brothers gave you cause for considerable grief at the same time that you were expecting the birth of your first child.
At the time of your pregnancy and the death of two of your brothers, you were in an abusive relationship that began about two years before your first child was born.
Now, 14 years later, you have become aware of the sexual abuse of your eldest daughter. Added to that stress, you have the stressors of supporting your daughter who lives and schools away from where you live. And the stress associated with court hearings, through which you presumably also want to support your daughter.
You have removed/extracted yourself from that sixteen-year abusive relationship, during which time you have home-schooled the children and are continuing to support six children, all under sixteen years of age.
As a result of your circumstances during the last sixteen years, you have suffered stress-related burnout, severe anxiety, and depression.
While you have met someone else, who you now live close to, whom you describe as wonderful, and is presumably giving you moral support and encouragement. You are still coping with abuse (presumably verbal) from this man's former partner, the carry-over issues related to your former relationship as well as caring for the children who are still in your care, and the additional stress of moving house.
Because of your remote location, you are having considerable difficulty in accessing or not being able to access support from other support services.
You are now struggling with anxiety and depression, and have difficulty maintaining your life as you would otherwise want it to be. You are also trying to cope with the knowledge that, presumably, as a result of the abuse your eldest daughter experienced, she also has issues of harming herself, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts.
Your concern at the present time is that you are unable to give your daughter the nurturing companionship that you would like to give her. And while you feel happy when your new partner is close by, his absence for work leaves you feeling flat, disinterested, and depressed.
It sounds as though your immediate concern is to address the depression that seems to be limiting your capacity to deal with everyday matters, and to then improve your ability to deal with the broader issues that you are facing in your life.
Karri, I hope I have summarised your life situation and wishes correctly. If you would like to, please confirm the details and provide corrections or additional details that you believe would be relevant for anyone offering suggestions about how you might address and deal with the issues and circumstances that you are facing.
The members of the forum are all facing issues of different types and degrees, so I hope, from their experience that you will receive appropriate suggestions and support through our forum posts.
We look forward to hearing from you and hope that the suggestions made will offer you support for your path forward.
With My Very Best Wishes,
HenryX
CC: @grayhorn @LostAngel @Togs2611
