My experience with the NYE2019 fires

Hi all, I want to share my story on the bushfires on NYE. I invite you to do the same; if you’re open to speaking your experience.

I find, as a renter who lost my home, my experience is that a bit different to those of home owners; yet bringing the same difficulties aswell as new ones.

I was physically separated from my husband on that night. He went to fight fires at his parents home in the national park. I left our home to my mothers with nothing but some clothes overnight, because “it will never make it here over night”. I was so wrong. I ran for my life at the crack of dawn with my 2 year old. I couldn’t get on to my husband, I thought I had lost him. the long dark day and night of NYE I was alone with my child sheltering. When we finally found each other back in town, we went to our house. All gone. Everything lost. A lot of you understand this feeling sadly. Memories and photos, heirloom items, children’s firsts. Everything we had ever owned and cherished gone. Then there was the town folk “atleast you didn’t own your house” “atleast it was only stuff” you see it wasn’t just a rental, it was our home. It wasn’t just stuff, it was our cherished items. Yes I won’t miss that bed frame, or that fridge, but I miss so much. No one saw the pain we where in because - atleast it’s not your home!

Little did they know, why we where spared the task of rebuilding, we too where made homeless with 2 under 2. No rentals within our price range, no insurance to replace. We lost so much that night, yes there where worse off, but to have salt rubbed into our wound and be told it’s not a big deal. We lived in a caravan on friends land for months. No where to go. Still we are told “lucky you don’t have to rebuild”

bucket baths and dug toilet wholes, or showering in town and toileting at neighbours, none of that mattered atleast we didn’t have to rebuild.

The sympathy for renters who lost their homes was non existent. Finally we find a home; expensive yet atleast we now have a roof over our head. Then they say “you should give your caravan to someone in need”

little do they know, we are only in this home for 6 months why we sort out some health issues as we cannot afford this. Then we will be back in our caravan. The nightmares, the flash backs, the children’s issues from that night, we fight these issues every day and are thankful it wasn’t worse. But I can’t handle being told my experience doesn’t matter. No matter how we where effected our experience matters. If your home is still standing but you experienced that terrible night, you matter just as much as those who lost. Your trauma is real. You matter. I am thankful it was not worse, yet have lost so much. My children’s innocence and safety will be the worst lost. They don’t feel safe still. I find talking helps me, sharing our last year helps me process. I love reading others stories of that night, or your own night in other fires; we are all effected in our many own ways. If you reading this want to share with me your story please feel welcomed. I try and talk to my husband about this, he nearly died that night, risking his life to save someone else’s property, his return; loosing it all. He is hard to crack open to talk with, he holds so much trauma. Yet we live to see another day we are thankful for.

What I have learned from all of this is expect the unexpected and accept it for what it is.

Lessons we have learned the hard way, have empathy for those around us. We move on with time no matter how deep the wound (or how much salt is in it) Now I ask;

What has the experience been like for you? And what have you learnt (for the better) from all of this?