First real job whilst studying

Awesome @Former-Member , welcome to the forums!

I am in a similar situation to you. I work four days at a school, I have my own tutoring business, and I study. On top of that, I have to monitor my mental health so that I don't relapse. Throughout my working life, I have had to juggle the challenges that come with BPD.

I love my work. I feel it is an outlet for me. I enjoy my studies but get upset and stressed if I don't have a block of time to complete what is needed. During covid, because I was in lockdown for about 6 months, I was completely on top of all my studies because I saved commute time working from home. Since returning to work onsite about 3 weeks ago, I am beginning to stress at the thought of having two more assessments to complete. I am determined to set please healthy boundaries with my work and studies while also ensuring I have social time.

Today, Ive been on a walk already, then I plan on spending a block of time to start/complete an assignment, I will then have one tutoring session before I meet up with my niece and nephew to take them on a walk.

I find if I plan my day, I get more done, and I am able to include a healthy lifestyle in my plan.

Hope this helps a little!

BPDSurvivor

@Former-Member Am I right in thinking that you have joined this website because you've been told to do for a assessment?

I can't speak for anyone else, but, I take this very seriously. Being able to vent on a secure sight is life saving! Our Mental illness is not for others to discuss in a class situation. I feel disgusted.

Hi there @Former-Member

Welcome to the SANE forums. I am the SANE moderator this evening. I have read your post with interest and just need to check that you are aware of who the forums are for. The guidelines state that the forums are; "for Australians 18 years and over who are living with complex mental health issues, and families, friends and carers of people living with complex mental health issues." If this apples to you November you are most welcome to remain and get support, information and connection from the wonderful forum members. But the forums are not for anyone to join in order to just carry out research or an asssignment.

You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines.

Take care

Whitehawk

Dear @BPDSurvivor,

Thank you so much for your reply!

You sound like you lead a busy life, you have my admiration. I too have to monitor my mental health, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago (though I have probably had them most of my life). I suspect there are other undiagnosed illnesses/disorders that I "enjoy" (not that I like to self-diagnose as many do these days, I feel as if this undermines those formally diagnosed with the illness/disorder).

I too love my work, I feel as if it gives me purpose, rather than the alternative of sleeping all day and lazing about (depression is a real downer ). I am glad that someone else understands the frustration (not the fact that you have to experience this frustration) of wanting to complete your work or tasks but not having the time or being worried at the thought of not being able to complete it. I myself have created those healthy boundaries (I think?), though I believe some are perceiving it as antisocialism... I used to be a pushover/people pleaser and people tended to abuse that, now I am very outspoken and at times too blunt for some (I figured I will only be honest and not compromise or forsake myself or feelings for the appeasement of others). As you can probably deduce, I am very headstrong (read: stubborn) and frank (I guess I had to become that way to stick up for myself). If you do not mind, I would like to hear about you, and who you are?

Good work on going for a walk! (Do you live by any nature reserves or the beach? I love being surrounded by nature, it is so reinvigorating.) I have not been on one in... well my poor dog seems rather melancholic from the lack of them. (Do you have any pets?) Between work, study, and life, I just have not had the motivation to go for a walk, my depression is getting the better of me.

I think I tend to prioritise everything else before me, or my mental health; which keeps getting pushed further and further down the list of priorities, so much to do, so little time. How do you find; and what do you do for "me" time?

In those rare moments that I do have time to myself; or just sweeping the floors/doing the dishes, I like to sing, I studied singing and music theory for seven years, I am completely obsessed and engrossed in music (you could say that is my religion).

You mentioned that you have your own tutoring business, what do you tutor?

Aaw, a niece and a nephew, how old are they? (If you do not mind me asking)

Planning your day sounds like a smart idea, I want to, but I become overwhelmed just by the thought of it; and the fact that I have to spend time planning and less time "doing".

Thank you again for your message, and your input , it was really great to hear from you (read from you?). I hope that we can have conversations in future, it was nice to connect with another.

Many thanks, and all the best,

- 5thNovember

P.S I chose this username because it quotes a part of a poem, Guy Fawkes Day Poem, by Milton which was quoted in the movie, "V for Vendetta"; in which the main character adorns a mask worn by "Anonymous"; the hacktivists... a mouthful I know, but basically, it is to say "Anonymous" .

"Remember, remember, the fifth of November.."

Dear @Former-Member,

I am so sorry to have caused you any distress or hurt.

Yes, I was assigned to make my original post as part of an assessment but I too live with mental illnesses and would be horrified to think I had made anyone feel as if I, or those I am involved with, think of mental illnesses/disorders as a gimmick. I always speak and post about mental health vehemently, as someone who suffers from mental illnesses it deeply saddens me the way mental health is disregarded, undermined, and stigmatised.

I am so sorry,

- 5thNovember

Dear @Former-Member,

I have taken yours and @Former-Member messages into consideration, please know that I meant no harm and I am sorry for that which I have caused.

Please feel free to read my other responses should you wish to know my motivations for utilising this website in future.

Kind regards,

- 5thNovember

@Former-Member your reply states that you agreed that this was done as per your studies,

and yet your long reply to BPD surviviour just proves this. You are interviewing.... ie: still part of your research!

You mock and show alack of empathy for those who really can't get up of the couch.... people don't get to choose to go do something else.

I do not believe you are sorry.

Hi @Former-Member , thank you for your honesty concerning why you first accessed this site. I also understand where @Former-Member is coming from.

@Former-Member , I appreciate that you are wanting to reach out to others in similar situations to gain insight into juggling work, studies, mental health.

---

@Former-Member wrote:

The reason I am posting this is because that part of one of my TAFE assessments is to research and access an online support service for stress and this was one of the websites suggested.

If there are any other TAFE students, new employees, babysitters, tutors or anyone really that wants to chat, feel free to reach out to me, I hope to make some connections on here.

Also, if anyone has some suggestions for work/study and life balance please feel free to add some. I WOULD BE REALLY GRATEFUL!

@Former-Member , I understand your concern and you are entitled to your opinion. In a way, I understand the rationale behind this 'assessment', as I have had similar ones where students are asked to peruse, navigate and use websites which may come in handy during the course of one's study. Particularly in light of COVID, unit co-ordinators want to set their students up for success, and this may mean suggesting various ways to reach out including Lifeline, SANE forums etc. It is a way for students to have a means of reaching out to the community. I do not believe it is to pry on people's lives and create an analysis of users.

As @Former-Member has included, she has been diagnosed with certain MI, and although her initial intent may not have been what you expected, she HAS posted in the 'Lived Experience Forum', and HAS sought connection and support.

@Former-Member , Could I perhaps suggest you speak to your unit co-ordinator and re-iterate the Forum guidelines as mentioned by @Former-Member , so as to dispel any further misunderstandings?

As @Former-Member mentioned, you are more than welcome to connect with us as you journey on, so as long as it is not with the sole intent of 'completing an assessment'.

Cheers,

BPDSurvivor

https://photos.app.goo.gl/Hb2zstiDJfHmm6sU8

Dear @Former-Member,

I am sorry to have caused you disgust and anxiety. Please know that I am in no way mocking anyone; as I said, I too suffer from mental illnesses.

If you would click the link I attached you will see I was assigned only to access the website and its support program, then provide proof (a screenshot of my original post, and my post only).

I would never mock, undermine, or discriminate against another suffering from mental illnesses/disorders, I too am disgusted by those who do so.

I want you to know that my message to BPDSurvivor was to connect and seek advice, as I have not been coping very well lately and it was nice just to be able to connect with someone.

I did not see your reply until after I had replied to BPDSurvivor.

In future I intend to utilise this website to help manage my mental health, and I do you and I can be on good terms as it weighs on me knowing I have upset you greatly.

Please know that you have my respect and I do not wish to cause you any distress.

Kind regards,

- 5thNovember

Dear @BPDSurvivor,

Thank you for your understanding and kindness. (I have been worrying about it all day).

I will make sure to forward the forum guidelines onto my unit coordinator.

Many thanks,

- 5thNovember