The only person son I have time for is me.

@Powderfinger I’m hearing how tired and alone you are feeling. Sometimes, too tired to even read, I’ve been there many times.

I’ll just sit here quietly with you , If that’s ok. I’m not a talker, but I’m told I’m a good listener.

I don’t get many responses to my posts either.

Hi @Powderfinger

I can see you are having a hard time.

How are you feeling at this stage ? It's hasb een awhile since you posted and I see there's not my supportive posts.

Please know that we care for you here and I hope that you'll contact the emergency lines if you need

someone to talk to .

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

@Maggie

I know there are DEFINITELY two things that have changed about me in this.

1. I don't feel the need to talk.as much, since I was shut down, ignored and made to feel invisible in the relationship. No it was never and will never be ok for treating me like that but the need to no longer speak as much, surprisingly us liberating and refreshing for a change.

2. I've finally BROKEN FREE after 35 years of helping every single persom, starting with my pathetic child parents and everyone else from thereonin. I've learnt many truths and gained wisdom. I FINALLY let go of taking on such burdens and responsibilities that are not my own. In fact, doing this for 35 years caused everyone else a disservice including me. I carry no more concern for my, mother, sister, niece not ex for how their lives end up or have ended up. I'm completely free of it. It wasn't my fault as a child and young adult what got put onto me and the abuse that was inflicted upon me. There comes a day though where that child grows up and consequences are dealt out either naturally or intentionally.

I'm sorry your posts don't get responded to. People have things to offer each other here, but they don't use it. It's a beautiful community that could make more of a difference in each other's lives.

Take care.

Ramble.

Hello @Powderfinger and @Maggie

I don't normally find myself on the home page and as I was looking for someone I felt I wanted to check on stumbled across your post.

So firstly "hello" Ramble it is nice to meet you and I already "know" Maggie but it is really lovely to see you my friend, I have missed your presence 🙂

I am sorry to hear your story Ramble you have been through and still going through so much 😞

Break ups are horrid and bring out every emotion in the book. I am not surprised you feel 65. I have had my fair share of horriffic break ups so whilst I don't have a lot of words of wisdom today I do hear you and validate your feelings. I am happy for you to tag me anytime. When I am in the office it is difficult to spend time here but I always pop in to check in/on my family. 🙂 🙂

Sending you both hugs and hugs and more hugs xox

@Anastasia You are a sweetheart. I do appreciate you. ❣️❣️❣️

@Anastasia

Thanks for your reply. I'm so spent and just realised why I'm not capable of putting two and two together. Cause I'm too tired. Thanks for validating my feelings and thoughts. I come and go. I'm here sometimes, then gone for a stretch of time. I always see things in my emails though.

Words are not necessary @Powderfinger

Just take care of you and I'm only ever a tag away xxx💞

@Maggie 💞

@Anastasia

Thank you very much.

@Powderfinger I think childhood abuse can leave some of us carrying loads we were never meant to carry. Breaking free from the weight, finding time for you, is necessary.

If you are anything like me, and it’s highly likely you are not, finding freedom takes time to adjust to.

I dont know if you have mentioned it previouseky, but have you considered your partner might have narcissistic tendencies ? Just a question, as some behaviour seems to lead that way from you description. But I don’t want to fill you will more puzzles to unpick. So take it or leave it, whatever is best for you.

I hope today is good to you, in many ways. Take care.

@Maggie

One person has mentioned narcissistic tendencies before. I will not entirely dismiss it. I am just not prepared to slap that label on it at the moment. Diagnosing a narcissist is extremely difficult and it is quite a huge process. Most never get diagnosed. Also there are just so many fine lines between narcissistic tendencies and errors in behaviour and actions deriving from a persons history of abuse towards them. Either way, there is never a single right anyone has to abuse another. This is going to take time for me to work through and I will take the time I need.

Your first point is correct though. I have identified a lot of things I was doing. Old ways of being because that is what I knew and those roles were assigned to me. I also need to look at myself and look at the reasons why I thought these things and roles that were given to me, why did I take them on. Why did I do what had been given to me, why did I feel the need to do it. There is more work for me to be done in therapy. I am on a break from it at the momet while I sort me out. I also am thinking about working with my therapist in a different way and telling her a few things about the way we work together. I do like her and want to keep seeing her.

Thanks Maggie.