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How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

For those who have managed to survive being a loner in school, how did you managed to do it? And also, if you are a loner in school, then how do you cope with group projects? Who do you partner up with?

It's my 2nd week of school today and I still don't have any friends in class. Every lesson, I'll just go to the lecture hall, sit alone by myself and not talk to anybody (because nobody bothered to talk to me) and then go home after lesson ends. Nobody bothered to talk to me in class so if I want to make friends in class I have to initiate conversations with people, but the problem is, I have anxiety and initiating conversations with people is the same as confessing my feelings to my crush, it makes me very nervous and give me extremely bad panic attacks.

Everybody there has already established their friendship group and I'm unable to enter their friendship group. I feel so left out in class. I feel like the odd one out.

During the first two days of class, I sat alone by myself right at the front row nearby the door because all the other seats have been taken up, and one seat away from me is this girl. The lecturer told me to stop being so isolated, so the girl ended up inviting me to sit next to her.

But because my classroom venue keeps changing and
I dislike sitting at the front row (sitting directly in front of the door makes me darn anxious especially when classmates keep coming in the door all the time and I didn't like all those attention focused on me
) so I decide to sit at the back row instead. So I went to sit alone at the back row. And now I am friendless again and during break time today I was thinking of going to the front row and sitting with that girl but my spot has been taken up by this guy from my class.

So now I can only sit alone by myself at the back row.
Now I am a loner again. I regret switching seats so much.
I should have just sat at the front row and suck it up.
Am I gonna sit alone in class until the day I graduate?
My spot has been taken up by the guy and I'm unable to sit there anymore.
And also what will happen if there is group projects? I won't have anybody to group together with.


Should I just drop out? Anyway, my main reasons for doing this course is because :


1) I want an associates degree as it will open up more doors.
2) My dad keep saying that I'll only end up dropping out and wasting money, and I want to prove him wrong
3) I want to overcome my anxiety


But now I am starting to find everything pointless. I don't really need that degree anyway, I can always start from an entry level job and then work my way up. There will be a day when my job will promote me anyway, I can't possibly stay at entry level forever.

I am so sick of being friendless in school. I have dropped out twice previously because of this friendless issue and I always have nobody to group with in school projects which sent me spiraling into panic attacks mode,
and now this is the 3rd school and I'm friendless again. I just seemed to intimidate people everywhere I go, maybe school just isn't the right environment for me.
Should I drop out now before it's too late? I feel so out of place here. Now is only the first semester, if I want to drop out it's better to do it now before it's too late and I end up wasting more money.

15 replies

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In response to: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

@Sehnsucht

I think they have a counsellor at my school, but I don't feel comfortable enough to open up to the counsellor at my school. Anyway, I have decided to drop out of school, my mental health has been deteoriating ever since school started and I have no other choice but to drop out of here. I figured out that the traditional school environment just isn't a suitable place for me to be in at the moment. I'll probably try distance learning instead, although distance learning isn't as recognised as traditional schools but at least having a degree is better than just having a high school diploma.

In response to: Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Hi @MintyX 🙂

Before dropping out, speak with either the counsellor, careers adviser, or such, regarding the best way of exiting the studies.

There may be a way that won't affect you if you decide to try again later. Worth talking with them.

They may even have suggestions about alternative studies, and they themselves may even have an "off-campus" or correspondence course available.

I do think this would be wise, even though it will push you emotionally (been there, done that ), but the discomfort now may pay off in the future.

Lots of hugs, and all the best with your decisions, whatever they may be 😉

Hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂

In response to: Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Hi @Sehnsucht 🙂

I was similar to you, and it wasn't until I was invited to attend a seminar re my son, that I discovered some of my school-years issues. Only in my 40's I learnt what the other issues were.

Both still plague me, but I am now learning to deal with them, so, work on your problems now, (I'm presuming still young) as I have hit 60 😄

Oh, I was diagnosed and medicated for "bad nerves" pre-teens, but in my 30's discovered also 'gifted' (not acceptable in my family) and in my 40's ADD.

Ahh....we all live and learn 😉 I hope my journey has helped you get the courage to fight this bug now 😉

Hugs 🙂 🙂 🙂

In response to: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

@MintyX,

Taking care of one's self is a valuable thing indeed!

A high school diploma (or not, in my case!), is not the be all and end all. Study and learning, furthering one's self, happens vocationally, socially,and other ways independantly of school.

You are moving forward,taking control. I wish you releif and all the best. I hope the support here has been welcome and can continue to help as needed x

In response to: Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Re: How to survive being a loner in college? Should I drop out?

Hi @MintyX 🙂

I agree with Sehnsucht. I know several business owners who left school at 15 or 16. 🙂
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