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my husband cheated and now there's a child

Sarah90Casual Contributor09 Aug 2016, 2:49 pm AEST

my husband cheated and now there's a child

My husband and myself have been together for 8 yrs married for 3. We befriended a lesbian couple we spent a lot of time together as we had just moved to town so they where our first group of friends we knew they we had plans to have a baby not through a doner but just by a one night stand. Well my husband happened to be the one night stand while I was away visiting family they met up at the pub went back to their place very drunk and seduced my husband this happened 11 months ago and now theirs a child. My husband has come clean and is very remorseful and wants to fix things he says he loves me and that the only reason he didn't tell me was because he was scared of losing me. Is love enough?

3 replies

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In response to: my husband cheated and now there's a child

pipSenior Contributor09 Aug 2016, 5:33 pm AEST

Re: my husband cheated and now there's a child

Dear Sarah 90. What a predicament. I gather you and hubby have no children. Does your hubby want contact with the child? If this was the first indiscretion, I suppose it boils down to whether you believe your hubby, whether you trust him enough to forgive and forget. I think, if it was me, I would give him another chance, if this is the first time he strayed. Perhaps suggest time away, give him 6 months. If you love him and he loves you, time will tell. Try not to throw it up when you disagree. Throwing past indiscretions/ hurts does not make for happiness. If you truly believe he is sorry and he is doing everything to prove it, I would give him another chance. You know him only you know whether he is sorry.

In response to: my husband cheated and now there's a child

-karma-Senior Contributor09 Aug 2016, 5:43 pm AEST

Re: my husband cheated and now there's a child

Hello @Sarah90

welcome aboard.

I hear a real betrayal of trust, not only in your marriage but also in the friendship you made with the other couple.

Where do you stand on things? You mention your husbands perspective, but not your own. Are you prepared to move forward with the relationship, or is this a deal breaker for you? Is there much conversation between the 2 of you, or has there even been a conversation with the other couple involved?

Have you had a chance to talk to a close friend about this, or have you been carrying this secret alone?

Perhaps you'd like to seek support to address some of these questions and where to from here?

Relationships Australia provides services Australia wide, please consider making contact with them

http://www.relationships.org.au/

1300 364 277

In response to: my husband cheated and now there's a child

ivanaSenior Contributor09 Aug 2016, 5:59 pm AEST

Re: my husband cheated and now there's a child

Hi Sarah90,

Sorry about your dificult situation.

Is love enough?-I dont think so,not without trust.

If he still has the same mindset that allowed him to cheat on you in the first place then i think that should be put into consideration before making a decision.

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