Need to vent

Firstly thanks for the tag @BlueBay

Please don't feel sorry, you have got nothing to feel sorry for.

You need to do what is best for you hon, whether you are on here or not.

You are very valued here and thought of often.

Please do what is best for you. Please remember that whatever happens we will be here for you.

Take care xoxo Sending lots of love 💌💌

Dear @BlueBay - I had that feeling and have been thinking about you everyday.

Please do not feel we do not want you have you here. You are a part of the family.

Relationships are not always rosy, because roses have thorns.That is the nature of relationships.

For myself, I realised that if I was not ready to take the hurt, then I'd also miss out on the incredible support, connection, love, and care from others.

For example, I know I love my nieces and nephews, but that means I also have to put up with their very frustrating habits. But I'm willing for that because I do not want to miss out on loving them and connecting with them.

Do what's right for you. One person's relationship does not signify how ALL feel.

Hugs

@BlueBay I am sad to read your post but please remember there are plenty of us who do want to communicate with you including me.

You are a very valuable forum member.

💜💚💜

Me too @BlueBay

I value knowing you over a long period of time.

I have been hurt on the forum too, but in the end the overall benefit, and my advocacy purpose won over. Honestly, you have to do what is right for you, but I am sorry you have been hurt. Some knocks and grazes do heal.

I also accept that not everyone will suit us, we cannot please everyone, or that we all need a break from time to time. I have now been in enough '"groups" to realise that people also move on for different reasons.

The main thing I am learning is not to take that kind of thing personally. It is more about them, than me.

Apple

I feel really sad too @BlueBay that you have been left feeling the way you do. All I can say is that I personally value you and your contributions here. Not just to me, but to a great number of other members over the years.

I think I can accurately say that you have given more here than you have ever taken. And I have always greatly appreciated your support and encouagement whenever you have been able to provide it.

You are definitely worthy @BlueBay and I value and admire your timely words of advice, empathy and encouagement that I have read from you right around the forums for a very long time.

On one hand, it may be a good thing that you are becoming less reliant on the forums for support. But it should not be because you don't feel welcome here, because that would be wrong. The forums are a better place with you, than without.

My sincere hope for you is that you no longer need the forums. But I hope you can drop in occasionally to say hi to your many friends here, and update us as to how life is going.

I hope this post reaches you. I care about you @BlueBay as do many others here. We all just want whats best for you. ♥

Emelia

@BlueBay - where are you? I’m missing you! Hope things are okay. We’ll chat soon.

@BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @Appleblossom @BlueBay 💗💗

@BlueBay

@outlander , @BlueBay , @Snowie , @BPDSurvivor , @Emelia8

thank you sis @Shaz51

hi everyone @Shaz51 @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @Eve7 @moderator @tyme @FloatingFeather @hanami

i am not coping at the moment. Mentally and physically i am done. i had surgery (abdominal hernia) two weeks ago, not allowed to do any heavy lifting for 6 weeks. Hubby took last week off to help me. Today is first day alone at home and i am not bad. This is the second hernia surgery I have had in 1 1/2 yrs.

i also have an ulcer which i need to have another gastroscope in a few weeks time to see if medication has helped and healed ulcer. If not, i don't know.

my horrible mother is playing her horrible games still -

she has not phoned me to see how i am; only if i call her she will ask

i am only calling once every 3-4 weeks and the conversation is only literally not even 2 mins. it's horrible and cold. she still doesn't ask about my kids or little A at all. No interest at all.

Sometimes i think, i wonder if i sh what would she do; would she come to visit or not at all. probably the latter i would say. Last weekend i tried to call and left 5 phone messages between saturday and sunday. No return call from her. so this morning i called and asked if they were away (as i know they are home, they don't go anywhere). she replied no, i told her i left all these messages. her reply was 'oh i never got any messages' next time you call don't leave messages just call. isn't that what i was doing.

i did buy a mothers day present because i thought i was the better person and would give it to her. but now after this weekend and her playing her games I am going to get rid of her gift. i really want to grab something sharp and rip into it. i have so much anger.

my little A is doing so well at school, loves it so much. her reading and writing is way above prep level. a big credit to my daughter as she spends lots of time with her reading since a baby.

my son is still os and is doing great. i can't believe it will be one year next month. he will be back next year in july - just in time for my daughter's wedding in october.

i have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, actually since start of year. two legal cases are progressing well, out of my hands now. just waiting for a concilator to call me and it could take up to 6 months.

planned for another mini holiday in october this year, was supposed to go last week for our anniversary but just had surgery so postponed it for october.

i am having horrible nightmares at the moment of spiders. huge huge spiders. horrible.

i am seeing a dietitian this week, hoping she can help with my eating disorder.

i miss you all and i am sorry i have been away for a long time. i got very upset and hurt and needed time away.

i hope you are all doing okay.

best wishes xxxxxxxxxx