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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Glad you are having a good time @BlueBay

I'm sure A will settle into school soon. It is always so daunting at the start.

Enjoy your time away

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds wonderful for you right now @BlueBay

School is daunting when they realise it’s every day!

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Glad you are having a good time @BlueBay ❤️

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Enjoy your travels ♥

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi friends @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Snowie @oceangirl @tyme @FloatingFeather @amber22 and others i have forgotten

I am about to see a doctor here as i have had shingles pain with no rash. It's been painful for the past week.

Quite warm today, walked along the beautiful long beach, coffee down the street and now in our room having some lunch.

Did a load of washing so that's all done and out on line drying.

Little A did really well this morning at school - no tears.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay,

Hope your shingles pain eases up soon. I don't know much about shingles to be honest but I believe it can be quite painful.

The beach walk, coffee and lunch gave me holiday vibes - hope it's an enjoyable day for you.

How good is that little A didn't cry this morning at school - sounds like little A is settling in well!

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I hope it’s not shingles @BlueBay .That’s good news about little A. Our Miss M is enjoying school so far 🤞

A very hot day here but I’m heading south for the weekend.

Lots of love

💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay hope the pain gets better soon.

Enjoy your time away

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

morning my sister @BlueBay thinking of you lots today

sitting with you and sending you lots of hugs

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thank you @Shaz51

i am not in a good headspace right now.

i have been ruminating about lots of issues - my mum, my dad, two court hearings and all the paperwork i have to get for each one. It's all getting too much and I am not coping. I was scared that this would happen and here we are.

My GP is concerned about my wellbeing and health as he feels it is too much to cope with as it is bringing up lots of big emotions to which i really struggle with.

I have had backache all weekend and saw my physio this morning who is so gentle and kind.

Little A has settled into school well. She has a little boy in another prep class who she tells me she 'loves him' and they play together. apparently one lunchtime she was alone and he went up to her to see if she was okay. oh how sweet. she tells me now 'nonna i am going to marry him'!!! I laugh at her such a sweetheart.

I guess i havent been on here for a while as I am still struggling with a certain issue that happened. But it's okay i will get through this.

tomorrow i am seeing my new psychologist for the second time and i am going to tell her that i left las session upset. the fact that she told me i don't have BPD. i just want her to know how i felt.

wednesday is outpatient program again, the next 12 weeks will be on anxiety.

thursday i have 3 medical appts - gyno, gastroenterologist and CPAP.

friday i have physio again.

i feel like a real wreck at the moment, not sleeping properly waking up between 4-5am and then not able to fall back to sleep. i am so exhausted that i am so emotional.

hope everyone is doing okay

hugs to all xxxx

it took a lot of courage to come on today and write this; too many times during this i have wanted to delete it all; but i thought no i want to come on and say hello to all my supporters. i hope you are doing okay @Shaz51 i know things are tough for you right now.

Sending you lots of hugs.

hi to all @Snowie @Eve7 @FloatingFeather @Emelia8 @hanami @tyme @MDT @BPDSurvivor

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