Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay -

I hear how hard these thoughts are to sit with. They seem to be taking over much of your life and time.

It is important you have a space to vent and 'let it out'. And it is just as important to know what to do moving forward.

What do you think will help you 'move forward'? It's totally okay if you don't know.

I'm listening.

tyme

i really am not sure @tyme

it's hard when it involves your parents

i have always been the one in the family to hold parties, xmas etc for all the family. i was the one keeping the family together.

but since my childhood abuse came out there is no more family get togethers and i wouldn't want one anyway because of my brother

I need to let all this go - but how. i need to understand that letting go doesn't mean forgiving or forgetting.

You are so right @BlueBay - it is able letting go, and letting go is not about forgiving, forgetting or condoning. It's about accepting that not-so-plesant things happen which are out of our control, but that doesn't mean we should be a prisoner to these situations for the rest of our lives.

"Letting go" is about giving yourself permission to live. And not just to survive, but thrive. Thrive on the things that keep you going. Thrive on the amazing relationship with Little A; thrive on your talents; thrive on knowing that your husband loves you for who you are.

Embrace these things, and slowly, the not-so-pleasant events will have less hold on our lives.

I know this, because I've done it.

It's a slow process, but I can vouch for that hope that you deserve.

Kindest, tyme

PS, I have sort of moved. My bed got moved last night, but my clothes and everything are still at my other place. So much work moving....

Sitting with you @BlueBay , @tyme 🥰

I tried to go and see my dad today but my mum has another excuse.
she first told me she is waiting for “someone” to call her. Meaning my younger sister. Because I remembered that tiday is my sister son and daughters birthdays.
i said ok I’ll ri g later. She calls back 5 mins later and says “you can’t come today because the kids are coming over “ meaning my sister with her kids.

why can’t she say the truth.

i do t care if she said my sister was going over.

grrr I am angry. So now I won’t go for another few weeks.
@Shaz51 @tyme @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8

@hanami

and others

So again I don’t get to see my dad 😢😢😢

I hate my mum.

I'm really sorry @BlueBay , I can understand why its so hurtful to constantly feel rejected like this. I think if I were you, I would just turn up at your parents place one day, unannounced. See how that goes. Could be a disaster, but who knows. Cant be any worse than phoning and being told no all the time.

I know there isn't anything I can say to make you not take the rejection to heart. And that's understandable. But just know that you are very much loved and appreciated around here, and clearly by your immediate close family. And that's what counts BB. Wrap yourself up in that knowledge.

Emelia 💞

Thanks @Emelia8

I know if I turn up she won’t open the front door. She’s done it before to my sister years ago.

the trouble is with her is that she says these things to me without my dad knowing what’s going on. I bet he has no idea of what happened this morning.
she’s cunning and very manipulative

she will tell dad what she wants him to hear and no more

I know deep down that my own kids and little A and hubby are my love and life. They are shat counts.

it’s just my dad. I feel that one day I will let loose with my mum and tell her how I feel.

for now I have to move on and live life.

it’s just I miss my dad. I wish he was tough and stood up to her.

xxxx

@BlueBay 💌

Hi @BlueBay

What a tough situation to be in. Sadly, it's not uncommon in families to have these types of issues. My mum's family has these type of things going on. People not talking to each other; people 'banning' some from seeing others. It's crazy. I have no answers just to remember that you're loved by your own little family as well as everyone here. It's tough your own mother is this way. If I was in the same situation I'd hope my dad would stand up to her and just get in touch with me. But it's probably not that easy for him either. He has to live with her after all.

Anyway, wishing you a good week ahead.

Hanami ❤️