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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Ohh hugs my darling sister @BlueBay

It is good that you are getting this looked at with your heart xoxo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

How are you feeling now @BlueBay ?

Have you tried controlling your breathing to minimise the stress? I never believed in 'breathing' before...but now, I realise the power of the breath.

I also respect your choice if you prefer me not to ask you to 'breathe' because I know it erks some people.

It used to erk me... and I'd get angry. I felt as though people thought my problems could be 'breathed away'...

Nowadays, when I'm heightened, I don't mind people giving me a gentle reminder.

It's your call.

I'm here sitting with you,

tyme

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

It's good that you are getting this looked at. Are you able to attend day program at private clinic- do you think that would help?

Do you have a BP monitor at home? You need to talk to both of your parents- and express how you feel etc. Be calm and say that you would like to see them more often and to make an effort.

How are you tonight?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @tyme

i don't mind you saying anything!!

i remember a few years ago when i used to ring my previous psychologist in a panic - he would say to me to breathe and i would say to him 'I AM BREATHING'!!!! but i knew he meant to take some slow deep breaths!!

i am still not feeling 100% physically and mentally i am feeling stressed. i feel my heart rate is racing; i should go and get my BP checked with my machine. We went to see 4 houses today; one was very nice and good price. but i don't want to rush in and buy the first one we see. i wasnted to see some others in another area but it's too late now. we will go next week.

i am arguing more than normal with hubby about houses. its stressful.

hi @oceangirl thanks for your message. i do go to outpatient program on a wednesday which i find good.

i am taking it easy for the rest of the day.

hi @Shaz51 @Snowie @MDT @Emelia8 and others following -

gosh i am buggered today, my BP is making me feel extra tired.

little A is coming over tonight for the night. i think a nice easy night tonight.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi everyone @oceangirl @tyme @Shaz51 @Snowie @MDT @Eve7 @Emelia8 @hanami @FloatingFeather and others following

I saw my GP earlier reg my very high BP. I told him that i am feeling like my heart is racing so fast. he checked my BP and said that was really good but my heart rate is too fast. i told him i am tired, no energy and don't feel right. and also have had the odd chest discomfort. he messaged my cardiologist and is waiting his reply on what next step to do. he said he will call me as soon as he hears back. i am still having the 24hr monitor tomorrow.

i don't want to do anything at home, is this lazy??

i have had no contact from my parents and i am still very angry. i really don't want to call her on thursday for her birthday but then that means no more contact. and then what do i do for fathers' day - nothing and no contact. Or do i call her on her birthday and pretend nothing happened. i do not know if i can do that anymore. i am so hurt, angry at how she forgot my birthday.

i just feel crap, not 100% well. i just wish someone would say 'right you are going to hospital' and i could have a break from all this crap.

the sun is out and it's a nice day but i have no motivation or energy to go for a walk. my dr suggested a walk when i said i was going to bed. i can't be bothered anymore. i don't know i am feeling very messed up in my head. confused.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You are certainly not lazy @BlueBay

Some days we just need to look after ourselves, and if that is spending the day in bed then so be it.

Please look after yourself and know we are only a post away 💕💕

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

It's truly awful that your mum didn't get in touch on your birthday. That's really sad and you have every right to feel upset about it.

I really hope things start to pick up soon.

Sending big hugs

Hanami

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Snowie @hanami

what have I done to deserve this kind of treatment from my mum and dad. I blame my dad too because he could get the phone snd call me. But he doesn’t. Maybe they don’t love me.
maybe I’m the bad horrible child because I “ruined”the family when I remembered I was sexually abused as a child.

Why?
I can’t think straight. I’m so angry I want to sh.
i am so stressed. Prob that’s why my BP is sky high snd I have a fast heart rate.

Whst would they say if I wasn’t alive anymore. Would they be sad? Would they cry? Guess I wouldn’t know cause I wouldn’t be there to see.
gee I’m angry. I need to stop. It’s not fair how I’ve been treated.
@hanami it’s horrible. That’s like me forgetting my own kids birthdays. How can you forget especially when my mums is this Thursday.

i can’t understand 😢😢

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay I can hear how distressed you are by this. It's not fair and you don't deserve to be treated like that. I can hear how angry you are and you feel like they don't care about you.

Have you reached out to anyone else about this?

I'm concerned for you and I would encourage you to reach out to the SANE helpline or crisis support if this escalates for you.

Sitting with you 💝

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello @Paperdaisy xx

Ohh hugs my sister @BlueBay , sitting with you xx

I agree it is not fair for you to be treated this way

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