Need to vent

Good night my sis @Shaz51

take care xxxooo

I guess pragmatic means to take things as they are. To be practical about it. @BlueBay . That is, if the thoughts come, we will deal with it.

He sure isn't a talker!

I'm wondering if, in the future, you will also feel that a 'barrier' has been removed since hubby now knows some more of what is happening for you.

tyme

Hi @tyme

I feel the trust is gone. Like now he won’t trust me in case of acting suicidal thoughts. And my psych even told him how I would “accidentally “ do it. I am angry.
ok maybe he needs to know. But I told her in session I didn’t want to use the word suicide. I decided to use word “not feeling safe” and then I would go to ED and speak to someone.

i feel now at the back of his mind he will always think “what if she does”

I wish now I didn’t tell my psych or hubby. It’s my problem I’ll deal with it.

I have tools to use eg walk, crochet, go outside in garden.

no you’re right he isn’t a talker so I don’t know what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s trying to not think about it. But it’s reality - I have a mental illness which could lead to a crisis at any time.

he’s now carrying on like nothing has happened.
mental health is serious. It’s not just something you pick up and rest and get better. I wish it was!!!

it can take years and years. And sometimes it’s just about managing your issues and learn to cope.

I feel the barrier is even more stronger and harder. Im not really sure.

It’s been 10 days since last contact with my mum. Wed is my birthday. Let’s see if she and dad call.
i bet they don’t!! 😢

hi @Shaz51 @Bow @hanami @FloatingFeather @Emelia8 @Snowie @Eve7

and others

Hey @BlueBay can relate to some of the things that you talked about above….. the concerns around you accidentally doing it. I guess if I’m honest I fear that I will accidentally do it too. I think deep inside I don’t want to, I want to be here for my daughter, she is my protective factor. But sometimes in my desperation…. Or impulsively, I do things. And sometimes in the past I have done way more than I intended.

i also much prefer to use the words feeling unsafe. I don’t like the word suicide.

id imagine that your hubby probably feels a lot like my folks do. Worried about where my head is at, will she do anything, any unknown knocks at the door is it the police or ambulance. My folks don’t talk either. Very closed off.

Hi @BlueBay

How are things today?

I'm thinking it will be tough when your birthday comes on Wednesday and you're wondering about your mum. My birthday is Sunday! I'll remember it's your birthday and we can share some virtual cake 🎂 ❤️

Hi @hanami

I’m stressing so much.

we are currently negotiating a price for the sale of our home. The agent is going back and forth with a price. It’s so stressful.

i decided this morning to ring my mum. Two min conversation. But I felt that ok after two weeks I called. Now we’ll see if she rings me on Wednesday. Having birthday dinner at home and my daughter will come over for dinner. Little A will have to help me blow the candles. lol

seeing my psych this afternoon to see if she can write a report for me to try to claim disability support pension.

quiet at home. I’ve cleaned the house snd now just crocheting.

so that means you’re a Leo as well!!!

Hi @BlueBay,

I totally understand that stress when the real estate agent is going back and forth trying to negotiate the price but that's good news that there's an offer on the table. My mother-in-law's house has been on the market for 3 months with no suitable offers. Fingers and toes crossed it gets sorted out in the next day or two.

That was good of you to call your mum this morning - sometimes short and sweet is the best way to have a chat. I do hope she calls you for your birthday and just in case I forget happy birthday for Wednesday! I'm sure little A will love helping blow your candles out 🙂

Hope the week ahead is good to you.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

Yes @BlueBay , I'm a Leo too!

I don't feel like much of a king of the jungle type person though lol.

I'm glad you have some plans for your birthday. And good on you for reaching out to your mum. As they say, the ball is in her court now!

Must be so stressful about your house. Thinking of you,

Hanami 💮

Hello @tyme , @Bow , @FloatingFeather , @BlueBay , @hanami

@Judi9877 birthday next week too

@BlueBay with you talk with @tyme , sorry it has taken me a while to write this xx

My husband does not talk about his MI which makes it hard for me to understand how to help him

I have had to learn what triggers him and what sends his stress levels up by how he acts or not act

He is not a talker xx

hi @Shaz51 @hanami @FloatingFeather @Bow @tyme @Emelia8 @MDT @Eve7 @Snowie and others reading along

We have SOLD our house!!! After a very stressful two days of going back and forth with the agent we have agreed with a price. Settlement is 4 months which gives us time to look for another place.

Happy, sad but relieved that now we may be able to live comfortably. Now we need to look for another house.

had a session with my psych which was interesting. we talked about a few things and how when i come up with an idea on making things to sell i get very excited and then the next day i am back to being so down, depressed and sad and no motivation to continue my ideas. She has suggested that maybe i am doing this as self sabotage; so i don't succeed because i fear of doing well.

she caught me by surprise and then made me think that she could be right. i feel i don't deserve to be happy, to succeed. i don't know, i need to work on this.