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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

HI @tyme I knew we were having a joint session. my psych wanted to meet hubby and see what he knew about my BPD and mental illness. she also was going to talk about my hypervigilant around intimacy and touch. I knew that bit was going to happen. But i never knew she would tell hubby about my suicidal thoughts and about my eating disorder.

i got angry in the session, i was emotional and trying to let hubby know that i wouldnt end my life; it is just when i feel so stressed and overwhelmed thats what i think of. i could see on his face he was shocked. that made me angry because i felt i had to explain it all for him to hear it all.

and my eating disorder - he didn't need to know. i don't think he understood anyway about this bit.

we talked about my mum and the effect her behaviour is having on me. we all agreed that it is emotinal abuse that she is doing towards me. and elder abuse towards my dad.

i now want to see my psych earlier than next appt so i can talk to her.

after coming home from session, hubby didn't say one word. all he said was that my psych is nice. no mention of my suicidal thoughts or eating disorder. no talk about 'well what do we do if you feel suicidal'. so i didn't say anything either.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I hear you are hurting @BlueBay - you have every right to be.

This is most likely not the right time to discuss much now, but I do have a few questions I'd like to ask (later) 🙂

For this afternoon and evening, do you have any plans about anything nice you'd like to do? A cuppa 🙂 I'm due for one soon Share a cuppa?

I haven't had lunch yet, but I'm thinking stroganoff. What about you?

btw, in your Nonna spaghetti, do you add mince?

Hugs,

tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

i am having a coffee now @tyme

having chicken wraps tonight for dinner

your lunch sounds nice

ok, ask questions whenever

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I had a coffee this morning, but not a special one...only instant - no time to indulge this morning.

I had a shop-bought smoothie in the arvo, and hopefully I'll have a proper cappuccino soon. @BlueBay

I'm just thinking of this evening's online peer chat for tonight. Trying to remember what it is going to be about.

Big hugs to you.

tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Have a good night @tyme xx

hi 👋 @Bow @hanami @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Snowie @Eve7

and Others

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

💙💙 @BlueBay 💙💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning @BlueBay

How have you been the last few days?

Hanami ♥️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @hanami I’m flat.
just getting through each day is hard atm

my sciatica and headache is still with me. My GP called yesterday and advised to take a script for sciatica pain. Luckily I had some of the meds he was saying.
but still sore.
I’m tired. I can’t quieten my mind down. Ruminating all the time. How do you stop this?

another open house tomorrow. So sick of it.

house is very quiet no one home. Feeling lonely.

im trying to get in to see my psych next week. Just angry at the things she told hubby.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay,

Sorry to hear you are sounding flat - sounds like things are hard for you right now.

I've (luckily) never had sciatica before but I believe it is quite painful. I hope you start to get some relief from it and your headache very soon.

When I start to ruminate and my mind won't quieten down I try to engage in something that I really have to focus on (like a crossword or scrabble). It doesn't necessarily mean that I completely stop what I am thinking about but I do find that it does give me a bit of a distraction and offers some relief. Ruminating is so exhausting and I always ruminate about something depressing/bad - wish I would at least ruminate about something nice!

I hear you when you talk about having an open house - first time I sold my house it was an open house and it was not fun. I got really tired of cleaning the house every Saturday morning and having strangers walk through my home and make comments.

Sorry to hear you are lonely @BlueBay. Any plans to see Ms A over the weekend?

Hope things pick up for you soon and you start feeling. better.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

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