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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sending loving hugs to you @BlueBay

Take care my friend 💙💙💙

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

Sorry to here things aren’t great! I can imagine you’re missing you’re son bit sounds like he’s having a good time.

It’s a good idea to call the CAT team when you’re feeling so low. Your psychiatrist sounds like she really cares for you.

Do you have anything planned for today?
♥️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @hanami

i sort of feel like i am not worthy of anything good in my life. i feel i am a burden to my family because of the situations we are in at the moment. i feel i am to blame.

today i went for a beach walk for 30 minutes and then shops to buy dinner. i have a psychologist appt at 11.30 then i am going to surprise pick up my granddaughter from kinda.

tomorrow is open house again 😞

i really hope we can sell soon so we have some money

i hate feeling like this. everytime i go to the shop i have to check bank balance before i shop. i can't live like this. it is so so horrible.

hi @Eve7 @tyme @Snowie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @MDT @Bow and others reading

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sorry to hear that you feel this way @BlueBay. I would have a guess and say your family do not feel that you're a burden at all and totally worthy of a good life.

I hope you feel much better after your appointment and then having your grandaughter around.

Let us know how you go ❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

you have resolve @BlueBay
never forget it
i have seen you in times like this before and you pull through

I'm sorry I'm unable to empathise with you. But I am here supporting you and cheering you on like you do for me !

I hope A is treating you well. It always warms my heart hearing you talk about your grandkids. I spoke to my nan the other day and said i wanted to visit them and she was very happy to hear it.

Anyone who has grandkids/parents is lucky I think

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

That's such a lovely sentiment 😊

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay have been thinking of you today.

I hope this afternoon is a little better for you.

Still here with you hon 💜💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm thinking of you too @BlueBay - hugs

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @tyme @Snowie @hanami @MDT @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Emelia8 and others reading

I had my psychologist appt this morning. I feel so triggered, stuck, confused, not sure what to do.

We talked about my mum and i told her how she and dad didn't come to my son's farewell party last week. told her she still hasn't called me to see if my son has arrived safely or where he is. she just doesn't care. how can a grandmother not care or ask about her grandchildren.

she asked about my dad and if i have seen or spoken to him to which i replied - no.

she said she is concerned for my dad as my mum is emotionally abusing him - elder abuse. i never thought of that before. she told me that my mum is stopping me from seeing my dad and i could go further with this to the Office of the Public Advocate. But i am so stressed confused and not sure what i should do. I really don't think i could do that.

i think that for now i am going to NOT call. i want to see what she does - if she calls me. if she doesn't then i will call her and have it out. i need to get it off my chest. i think?? oh i am not so sure. there is a part of me that is scared of her and there is a part of me that thinks no damn it she needs to know how i am feeling and what she said to me hurts. and how can she not care about my kids or even me. it's not what a proper mother does.

i have had a headache all day today and the session didn't really help. i went with my daughter to pick up A from kinda. she was surprised to see me. we then went down the road for a coffee and poor little A is coughing again. Second cold/asthma cough in a week!! Kids pick up so much at kinda and school.

so the sold sign has gone up at the house across from us just now. i feel that people will now be judging us and saying 'gee how come we haven't sold our house yet' there must be something wrong with it. or we are asking too much. i feel all our neighbours will be talking about us.

that's why i just want to stay inside and not be confronted by our neighbours with all their questions. because it makes me feel terrible and then i get even more stressed and emotional.

sorry for rant - i just wish my life was easier and something good come. hoping we get people through our home tomorrow at open inspection and show an interest. i am sick of hearing the agent say the same thing - they like your house but the backyard is too small or we don't want to pay the body corporate for the area.

sorry i just a more peaceful life, a quieter life. especially in my mind. my mind is fighting from one side to the other. saying things to do then saying to stop. pulling from one end to the other. (not sure this makes sense)

better go and sit for a bit, hoping my headache goes away. continuous headaches are so draining.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like it was a tough session @BlueBay

I am glad you were able to talk to your psych about all of these things.

It must be hard with your mum and not being able to see your Dad.

I hope you can do something nice for yourself tonight.

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