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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I hear you @BlueBay and I am so terribly sorry you are having to go through this.

I don't know what to say, I feel so useless in your sphere of helplessness.

I really hope that your Dr can get back to you at some point, and that he is able to help you get through this.

In the meantime, would it help to speak to an online counsellor do you think? Just someone to talk to and speak of everything you are currently going through right now may help. I am really sorry I cannot help, but I know you are strong and resilient. I know if anyone can get through this, you can.

Emelia 💕🌸🍀

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks a lot @Emelia8 for your support.

I don’t know what to say except that - today is no better.

im struggling with so much lately. Had blood tests this morning for a whole range of things incl diabetes (which could explain the tiredness and 2-4 toilet trips during the night)

@Emelia8 im just tired. Tired of this life. Living in extreme financial distress. I don’t know how much more I can take before crashing.

@FloatingFeather @tyme @grayhorn @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @tyme @hanami @Former-Member @Snowie @Eve7

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay, been a little while. Sorry to hear that things are so dang overwhelming for you right now.

I know the feeling of, sometimes no matter how much you hope for a better day than yesterday, things still suck. And waiting on blood test results can be oh so horrible too! I'm waiting on some too at the moment and it is rough.

I'm glad you're here though, reaching out to your forums fam. We got your back through these tough times!

What have you got on for the rest of today? Is it rainy where you are too?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @Jynx I miss talking to you. It’s sunny here so I really should take jersey for a walk. But she won’t walk with me alone. After hubby has his coffee we’ll go around the block together.

I feel so flat depressed angry scared anxious.

I just want to curl up do nothing forever. I feel I’m a burden on my family so I feel I shouldn’t be around anymore because of the horrible guilt I feel.

i don’t know what to do anymore. It feels I try but get slammed down pretty quick with something else. And I’m beginning to not care anymore about trying. Because there’s no hope. Can’t see it.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

I'm sorry to hear things are hard for you at the moment.

You show so much strength. Am here for you hon.

Sending lots of love and hugs your way 💜💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I really hear you, that you are in the thick of the darkness right now. Have you been able to get onto the SANE chat at all today? Might help to be able to talk to someone. Cos as much as you might feel like a burden, you are always, always worth time and care and support. I'm sure your family would tell you the same.

I hope that you do get to go for a nice lil walk, that sounds really lovely! 💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I don’t think I’m worthy of anything @Jynx

I might give the online chat later on

I feel like giving up.

Did take dog for a walk

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Maybe that's your brain being really mean to you @BlueBay ... and what if people really do value you? I know for a fact you are a valued member of this community. Maybe it won't make that harsh critical inner voice go away entirely, but it might help to shush it for a little while if you remind yourself of the ways you are valued by your loved ones and community.

Glad to hear you had a little walk, and I hope you do jump onto chat, it might be super helpful 💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

Hi my friend, I’m so sorry things are tough from so many angles. The good thing is you’re onto it. However, please please please know that this too shall pass. In 5 years you’ll look back at this time and realise how strong you really were and how much love you generated from those near and distant. Health issues and housing issues, each entirely stressful on their own without ganging up.
As a sole parent of 2 teenagers, I faced eviction due to the rental I was living in being sold, and a gross shortage of rentals in the area. Broke and with no support network I was stressed to the max, thought it would be time to buy a tent, but we got through. You have an innate ability to connect with others. Support is there. I believe in you. Try and focus on one thing that give you pleasure, for me a fragrant yellow rose. You’re talented and lovable. Be kind to yourself.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

My dear dear @BlueBay ,

Seems like that negative brain is taking over again!

Hugs to you.

What do you think is a effective circuit breaker in breaking this cycle of negativity?

Can I share my rose-tinted glasses with you?


Im missing your Nonna spaghetti during our Friday Feasts.

Speak soon,

BPDSurvivor

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