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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Aww thanks @grayhorn xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Off to bed 😴

talk to you all tomorrow xxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I’m about to burst into tears

im so fragile atm

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm in the Forums this morning @BlueBay if you wanted a chat 💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Former-Member

I didn’t sleep well last night. My mind was in overdrive at 100 miles an hour. Going from my abuse, my uncle who abused me , my mum to what should I cook for dinner tomorrow night!!!

then I couldn’t stop coughing and getting up to the loo.

i want to take some strong meds to sleep. Left a msg for my dr if he could me a script but I have a feeling he won’t.

this is how I’m feeling - fragile, overwhelmed, scared, sad, anxious and feel there’s not much to life with all my struggles at the moment.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Argh, yes that's the worst feeling @BlueBay. When you're physically sick but your brain just won't quit! I can empathise with you there.

It's great that you've been able to reach out to your doctor, and I hope they can provide some sort of assistance in that area. Medication aside, have you tried other ways to help when the night time thoughts come flooding in?

It's something I struggle with off and on too, and when it happens one of the things that works for me is to do the 5 senses thing, you know the one where you hear 5 sounds, feel 5 sensations in your body, 5 things you taste (which at 3am it's usually none!), 5 things you see and 5 things you can smell. I find if I do that and follow it up with a breathing exercise I can usually get back to sleep.

The other thing I do is intentionally block the thoughts out – do I want to be thinking about the past abuse at 3am? No I really do not, so when the thoughts come I will disengage from them by telling myself it's more important for my self-care that I sleep right now. I may be hurting but I'll still be hurting tomorrow so it can wait till then. I get really strict about it and tell myself that the person who caused the harm in the past will not stop me from taking care of myself in the present. They absolutely will not cause another minute of harm because I want more for myself. I'm not sure if that resonates with you but I hope you might find some little kernel in there @BlueBay.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Former-Member

I tried counting backwards. Not sure if it helped. I kept tossing and turning.

i will try your tip next time. I have heard of that one.

im now laying in bed watching tv. Might even have a sleep.

i think I’m also really scared because we haven’t sold our house and the uncertainty is making me feel horrible.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sitting in uncertainty can be really challenging, that's super normal @BlueBay. Not to say it feels great, because it doesn't, but one day your house will be sold and this at least will be behind you 💙

Sometimes we have to muster the strength we have to get through to the next phase in our life. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you have that within you. We see that fighting spirit time and time again from you in the Forums, @BlueBay. My wish for you today is that you can see a little glimpse of your own strength too.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Dr won’t give me script @Former-Member

he doesn't understand how hard it is to sleep and to get up 3-4 times a night to go to toilet.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Former-Member are you around?

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