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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay sending lots of love and hope your way 💜💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Why is everything my fault

I’m to blame

my head is telling me to do

horrible stuff to myself

F…… everyone that doesn’t understand mental illness

I just want to be left alone

I HATE my mental illness

I HATE me

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds so tough @BlueBay .

I'm hearing you, and am here if you need a chat.

Also, SANE's counselling service is available to you on 1800 187 263.

Big squishy hug for you,

tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sorry I haven’t been around for a while @BlueBay . Working on a new project for the next 4 weeks so I’ve been quite busy.

I see that you haven’t been too well lately. How are you feeling tonight? Physical pain can make psychological pain so much worse.

Take care and I look forward to hearing how you are feeling.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay ,

I wanted to pop by to see how are tonight.

Thinking of you at this very time and hope you are okay.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor thanks for your message checking in

I'm not bad, but not great either.

I'm very flat, tired and waking up at least 2-3 times during the night, my bladder is not good atm.

I;m seeing my doctor on thursday, so he may send me for a pelvic ultrasound to see if my fibroids are pushing on my bladder.

I saw my psych yesterday, crying so much, feeling so deflated, so lost in life. feel like we will never sell our home, no offers yet. she said to me that i am too isolated on my own at home and this is not good for me. i told her i can't do any hobbies that cost money as i can't afford it. she has suggested i try to join a knitting group at a community centre, but i am not easily able to do that. i find it extremely hard to join groups on my own. i am very shy, sensitive and not able to do this.

we spoke about my eating disorder and she is concerned about my behaviour around this and actions i am doing. she is thinking about me seeing a specialised dietitian. I told her not for now it would complicate things.

Reg the DBT group i was going to start in July - after my psych writing a report letter outlining why i need to do the DBT she received a letter back last week denying me to do the therapy.

I am at a loss as to why; but she has said that she will give them a call to ask the reasons why.

I have been feeling shaky for a little while which could be a side effect from one of my meds. I told her yesterday and she said to monitor it and let her know in 2 weeks when i see her. I may have to come off it. It is a mood stabiliser.

@BPDSurvivor how do you deal with no motivation? like when you can't be bothered with anything or life - how do you get your motivation back?

OK, i better go and eat something, i am feeling a bit faint and shaky.

hi to my friends @tyme @Snowie @hanami @Bow @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @MDT @Anastasia and others xxxxxxxxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Really glad to hear from you today @BlueBay ♥ We hadnt heard anything in a few days, so I was becoming concerned 🌷

Life sounds really difficult for you in lots of different aspects right now.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and sell your house for you. Wave it again and find the perfect new home. And with a third wave of that wand, I would solve all your physical health concerns which have hounded you this past year.

That would 'only' leave your mental health for you to concentrate all your attention on.

Sigh ... if I could, I would.

Sending love and a big hug.

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

love you heaps my friend @Emelia8

and if i had a wand i would wish all your health issues to disappear.

thank you, i appreciate your comments and love.

xxxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

Sounds like a lot is going on for you at the moment. Here listening and sitting with you hon.

I am glad you can speak to you psych about things, hoping it helps even just a little.

Sending lots of love and hugs your way 💗💗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Snowie

I’m alone at hime and feel so lonely

Crying alone 😥

sh thoughts on my mind

stopping my meds on my mind


I don’t know what to do

@Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor @tyme @hanami @Shaz51

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