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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

You're doing great. And thank you for keeping us in the loop. You can raise above these feelings. I hear you my sister. Take the time you need for your wellbeing. Do you have any news from your Drs- I hope you got some answers today.

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay yay for no pericarditis!

Did your cardiologist give you advice about stopping /continuing the medication?

So lovely about that lovely nurse.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @NatureLover yeah the cardiologist recommended i keep taking this medication for a month just in case there was a little bit of inflammation. He then will see me in a months time, if the chest pains get less to none then i can stop this medication. if the pains still continue i may need to take for 3 months. just have to wait and see.

i had to have an xray yesterday for my abdomen as i am still having pain. he wants to see if i am very constipated as sometimes it can be impacted. so i will see the physician today. my psych increased the mood stabiliser last night. i am hoping to leave here before the weekend, but he told me yesterday it may be the weekend or monday next week. we'll see how i go.

it's so much trial and error with medication, everyone is so different, our side effects are different and our bodies are different.

i did a yoga and meditation session yesterday afternoon - OMG i almost fell asleep. it was amazing, calming, restful and soothing. just what i needed!!

breakfast done, showered, dressed and waiting for a group which will be in an hour - hoping it will be a walk outside. i need some fresh air.

love to all @oceangirl @NatureLover @Snowie @Anastasia @Eve7 @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8

@MDT and others following -

i am sorry i haven't been on each individual posts, but pls know i do think of you all. xxxxxoooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

How are things going, @BlueBay ?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Thinking of you lots today and sitting with you my sister xoxo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I am sorry everyone for not replying earlier. Few setbacks

1. my AD was increased last week and it has been giving me hallucinations visual and auditory

2. visitors and leave was finally allowed last week. i went home both sat and sunday but didn't feel excited or enthused

3. my emotions have been everywhere from crying in group therapy to yoga to crying in my room at night. they are giving me a calmer to alleviate the distress.

4. i have no motivation to do anything, i don't care about life 😞

i told my psych all this today as i was supposed to be discharged today. but after hearing what i have been going through the past few days he has told me i am staying for at least a few more days and he will reduced my AD so hoping these hallucinations stop. they are very scary.

my psych has requested that i don't do any type of groups and just to relax with yoga, sleep and try to rest my mind.

Let's see how things go. I have bought some wool all different pinks so knitting little A a scarf. Even she is missing me so much, she rings and says nonna when are you coming home, i miss you 😞

anyway better go, trying to lay down and have a little nap. huby will pop in at 4pm to visit.

take care everyoone, i hope you are all doing fine or as best can be.

love to all xxxooo

@Shaz51 @NatureLover @oceangirl @Snowie @Anastasia @Owlunar @Emelia8 @MDT @Bow and others i have missed

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sending you lots of tender hugs my sister xoxo @BlueBay and hope you are feeling a bit better soon ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Will I ever get better

suicidal thoughts are not good while in hospital

hearing voices of what to do

I feel emotional exhausted @Shaz51 @NatureLover @Snowie @oceangirl @Anastasia @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 👀👂💓😔

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

What you’re describing @BlueBay I can understand that it would be emotionally exhausting.
I have witnessed incredible resilience in you and although where you’re at you may not be feeling that. I can see it in you.

I don’t know, but I’m just wondering if there’s something you could perhaps immerse yourself in, I recall you making art, do you have any access to art materials while you’re in the hospital? Just so you could try having a break from you’re other experiences?
Sometimes that helps me.

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