FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

2,951 - 2,960 of 4,898

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm sorry you had all of that happen @BlueBay - it must have been horrible

I have been told things by ED doctors too - they are not specialists and they have to check for everything - not the best way I am sure for you - but for overall health issues - yes - it's necessary

I am not surprised you had all of this happen though - you have so many confusing emotions - and then there is your mother - I know it's hard for you to control all of this but I am sure that hormones build up in your body and they do have an effect.

That's why therapy is so important - somehow you do need to get past your own past - after all - these things - except for your mother - are in the past - and it's destroying your quality of life

I wish you the best and when you see your therapist it's a good idea to really face the issues that are so confronting - and if you disagree with something they say then say so - you do have the right to a different opinion

Thinking of you

Dec

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thank you @Owlunar

I saw my psych this morning. Our session lasted over an hour. Wr talked about our mini break away, my mums call, intimacy, food disorder, medication and hospital stay. Oh and I told her about my weekend in hospital.

she said that the hospital stay could possibly be triggered by my mum.
I am going into hospital in two weeks time to change my meds. I will be with no meds for about 2-3 days then start new one. She will research meds snd choose one that won’t affect my weight. As she knows I have an eating disorder.

I have told her that for this week I will try to be mindful of my food intake. And I am only hopping on scales next Monday. And try to sew again.

she said my mum has such a strong hold on me. I have her in my mind at times of the day then distract then she’s back again . It’s got to the point that I was having horrible dreams about her snd dad. So my day thoughts turned into the bad dreams.

she also said that I’m very depressed and my mood is very low.
I told her today in between crying that I feel I’m a burden to my family. It’s my fault that we’re in this financial situation. She said no that my family including little A all love me snd that I’m a very good snd kind mum.
I just cried.

she said I’m subconsciously self harming by:-

limited my food intake snd then excessive eat

stopping my meds (which I haven’t got a while now)

conversing with my mum snd taking in all she says then reacting me

you would think that my mum would have called today to see how I am but no

I’m sitting now resting as I’m really drained snd tired.
@Shaz51 @Snowie @Emelia8 @Jynx @Anastasia and others reading

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like it has been a tiring day and full on for you @BlueBay

I hope you can take some time for yourself tonight.

Here with you hon 💕💕

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Just need to write this now

Dear Dad

next week is your birthday. You will turn 85.
I know I can’t see you because of mums “tough rules” to not let anyone over because of covid. Do you know it’s been more than 12 months that I have been to your house. To just sit snd have a coffee and talk.
you and me know how controlling mum is. How manipulative she is. She’s controlled me snd I’m sure you too. I hate it I really do.
I feel so so sorry for you being trapped at home You go from the kitchen to the lounge room to outside then repeat. You must be feeling trapped locked in and horrible that your life is not the way you want it.
I’m sure you would love to visit my place. See your grandkids sbd of course your great granddaughter little A. I see the smile on your face when she talks to you.

oh I can’t do this anymore I’m sobbing 😥😥

Dad I have missed you so so much. It’s like you have passed away and I’m grieving. Because I can’t see you so it’s the same thing.

happy 85th birthday for next week Dad. I know I won’t see you but I wish you a good birthday.
life’s not fair at times.

it’s not right

I hate this lack of not seeing you

it’s literally breaking me mentally snd physically

and I don’t know what to do

hugs snd love

I love you dad so so much

my heart is breaking that I can’t see you

your heartbroken daughter

♥️😘

@Snowie @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Jynx @BPDSurvivor and others reading

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

i hope your feeling better today @BlueBay sending hugs

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

Hi my sister

Glad to hear you're ok and now back at home.

Did the cardiologist explain the changes to your blood test re : troponin- Was that from your blood pressure tablet?

I have read through your posts today and after your appointment today. Hope you were supported and feel more relaxed and at peace after seeing her.

I went to see my niece today and her kids. It was my great nephews birthday today and his first day at big school. My great niece started year 2 and both seemed happy this afternoon. I took him up a present for his birthday and also to spend time with him and his sister and mum and dad. I took Millie with me (my puppy).

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

((((( @BlueBay 💔)))))

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I'm so glad the chest pain and dizziness was your blood pressure med and not a heart attack or pericarditis!

Sending care and hugs for all you're suffering with your Mum and Dad and the MIs 💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @outlander @NatureLover @Anastasia @oceangirl

I’m feeling down depressed and emotional

every time I think of my dad I start to cry

@Snowie @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @MDT abd others reading

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm so sorry to hear how hard this week is you @BlueBay and the pain you are feeling, missing that connection with your dad

Sitting here and listening should you need someone to talk to, as are your forums family

2,951 - 2,960 of 4,898