Need to vent

Hi everyone

Well I found out something this morning from my sister. She called and said thet mum is being "strange" with her. She said something to my sister thst has niw left me on edge, angry, deeply rejected. She told my sister that my brother is the only son she's got and he can do no wrong.

OMG i could write a book about my brother. All the shit he put my parents through. But yet he is the good golden child just because he's a son and first born.

how - he sexually abused me; he took advantage of me; he is horrible. He married 4 times. His third wife was a prostitute snd on drugs. He lied to us as to what job she was doing. His daughter was born rith heroin in her body. His dsughter suicided at 23.

Hiw can my mum say that. I feel like telling her what he did to me. But that would get me nowhere.

I had a nice day. Littke A was so gorgeous. Dressed up in a beautiful dress. She ran inside snd said "merry Christmas nonna" gave me a big hug. We ate too much. Then little A wanted to sing with her new microphone. We were the audience watching sbd clapping.
my sons are amazing. The older one gave us a card snd wrote that we can go away somewhere for a few days snd he will organise accommodation for us. That was so nice.
the other son gave me a candle a book snd a painting.
daughter gave me a voucher.

@Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Owlunar @Snowie @HenryX @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor @Bow snd ithers

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@BlueBay wrote:

She said something to my sister thst has niw left me on edge, angry, deeply rejected. She told my sister that my brother is the only son she's got and he can do no wrong.

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@BlueBay am very sorry to hear 😞

I hope it won't ruin the nice day that you've had 😞

I'm glad you had some positives in your day too @BlueBay . Thank you for describing the joy you had.

BPDSurvivor

Apart from the news my sister told me yesterday morning I had a great day. Little A was so funny. One of the boys bought her a microphone and she had to have a mini concert. we all had to sit and watch her sing and dance, and then she would chose one of us adults to sing and dance with her 'on stage'. it was so funny.

she was very spoilt yesterday. Oh my boys are such good sons. Last night my older son decided to purchase a 1 hour massage voucher for me. He is so so kind. Then this morning he said to look at accommodation somewhere and he will organise the booking and pay for it. We will go away for 4 days in early Feb as hubby has 3 weeks off. We always go to the same place every year, it's bout 3 hours drive from home. It's a nice resort, camping ground which has a massive outdoor resort style pool and an indoor pool and spa. a tennis court, a 5 hectare property which you can walk around it.

We were thinking of lakes entrance but not sure where to stay.

went for a short walk this mornig which was nice. this afternoon little A will get dropped off here by her dad. so more hugs and kisses from her!!!

rest day today, on slow go. ate far too mjch yesterday.

hope everyone had a nice day yesterday as best can be.

take care my friends

@BPDSurvivor @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Owlunar @Emelia8 and others

Sounds great @BlueBay !

I can only imagine the joy you got being with your family, esp little A. Too too gorgeous!

As I've said in the past, you have great kids and much of that is reflected in how you raised them. Children have the choice to do what they want, yet your children make you proud.

Don't let the relationship you have/don't have with yiur mum spoil things. Focus on the better.

Hugs,

BPDSurvivor

thanks @BPDSurvivor

my 3 children make me very proud. i am so proud of what they have achieved so far in their lives. i wish for more grandchildren one day!!! i am sure that will happen.

even though during the childhood we never had much or go on extravanganza holidays, we did what we could. And i am so glad that they can now appreciate what we have done for them. the last few years of their high school (yr 12, yr 11 yr 9) was a real struggle as they were in a catholic school. we struggled terribly financially as the fees were huge. But i seeked help with the school, one year they gave my younger son a scholarship due to his work commitment and we had a year free for him. Then we kept in touch with the school accountant/financial advisor and he managed to waive quite a bit of fees for us. We were very grateful, and now i am happy that they all have had a good education and now fantastic careers.

My kids are my life, i would do anything for them.

Why am i saying all this? i don't know - yes thanks for your kind words.

My own family will always be in front of my parents. and now little A well she is my number 1.

@BPDSurvivor i hope you had a nice day yesterday. xxxx

hi @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Owlunar @Emelia8 @oceangirl @HenryX @MDT

Hi @BlueBay

It sounds as if your made a real effort for Christmas Day and it has paid off for you - I am so glad to read all your posts about that

It was a battle when we had two kids in a State School - my ex-h was not a good provider and I worked when I could - he would lose his job often and I had agencies that would employ me to do temporary work and I would earn more than he could and I think this was hard for my husband and he had to watch out for our wayward son when I worked as he didn't like this. Our marriage was sad rather than bad and now I see it that way and it was a good thing to get out of - a long time now - well over 30 years -

But we managed to take a flat in Warrnambool for a couple of weeks each year when the kids were young - I still remember walking along the beach with the kids - sometimes I was there alone with the kids as my ex had to work for one of the weeks but it was easier on holidays than at home to manage my son - my son was why I couldn't work regularly

I would like to go away but not yet - I don't drive now so I am relying on planes or trains to get where I am going - I know Lakes Entrance is booked out as is a lot of the Peninsula - people are paying more too - the demand is high because people don't want to risk flying. I know I am not prepared to hustle through an airport looking for a flight when many are cancelled

But you have the cash for a holiday - you do have good kids - you really do - so you did something right - enjoy your life on the days you can and when you are low remember these episodes do pass - they really do

All the best today

Dec

I'm a bit like you @Owlunar in that i am not ready to fly anywhere insterstate just yet.

Can I ask you? are there any nice places to stay in Lakes entrance? I am not sure where to stay and thought I would ask you. When we go it will be in Feb when kids are back at school. should be a bit quieter

I had a phone call this morning from my mum. She says to me 'now i have to ask you a question and i want you to tell me the truth" 'did you go to your niece's 30th birthday 4 years ago? to which i replied 'yes we all went'. Well that was it - she cracked it big time. Saying 'well that is bad because we were not invited, your other sister (who no one talks to) wasn't invited. your niece should have invited me and it was up to me if i wanted to go or not. There will be trouble now with your sister (the one i talk to, as this is her daughter).

OMG - why does she treat me like a child - now tell me the truth"!!! For goodness sake - i told her what is the point in starting trouble now, it was 4 years ago. your granddaughter invites who she wants, i don't know why she didn't invite you. It's not up to me.

She then says 'oh yes the family is all split" - does she realise it's her that is doing that and no one else!! and then she goes on about respect, that her granddaughter has no respect for her grandparents. I was about to tell her that respect goes both ways and that why didn't she or dad or my younger sister (if she wanted to talk to me again) come to our house when my MIL passed away. that's respect, but see that's different because it's them. But to me it works both ways.

I started to panic because i am thinking what if one days she asks me why am i not talking to my brother. what do i say?

i am scared. i lay in bed and started to cry thinking OMG what will she say if only she knew. she won't believe me, she will tell me i have made it all up.

ok, i can't think about it, it hasn't happened. i am really not sure what to say if she did ask me. and i know that one day she will ask. because that's her she needs to know.

my mum is the biggest cause of our family, she creates these issues.

Reg. your kids at school - gee it must have been very tough for you Dec.

Mothers - you just can't win.......

Hi @BlueBay

I do know a nice place to stay at Lakes Entrance but I don't know if I can post it here though I certainly won't be there myself right now - perhaps there is a way but I'm not sure about it

Your mother is certainly causing her own family break-ups - she didn't get invited to a party 4 years ago - what an overreaction!

Actually I was thinking what I would say to my sister should she ask why I have nothing to say to her. You know its not a lie to keep painful issues to yourself - I would tell my sister that what happened is in the past and I see the point in talking about it when so much water has passed under the bridge

You can say that about your brother too - you can say you don't like him and talking changes nothing

Actually people will be hurt beyond what we can imagine if we tell something we have kept to ourselves for a long time - I have kept the truth about my siblings bad behaviour to myself for decades - it's safer for you that way and it's my opinion if you tell the truth about your brother now it will not help you at all

I think you know that - my parents died not knowing my brother's worst behaviour - I was older and emotionally stronger than him so nothing happened but it could have - I have kept it to myself all these decades and truly for the best reasons and outcomes

I do understand

Dec

I hope you can tell me about accommodation at lakes entrance @Owlunar

I know my mother is "looking for trouble or to start trouble"

im trying very hard to stay neutral. If I get invited I'll go.
I'm not sure at the time if I was asked the question what I would say.
yes if I told her it wouldn't get me anywhere. I would prob end up in hospital

im glad you had a nice Christmas Day with your daughter snd son in law. And also nice that you could FaceTime your granddaughter- that's special.

today is very quiet at hime - on my own. Abd thoughts are popping in my head. Think I need a distraction.

Always thanking you for your honest replies snd support xxxooo