Need to vent

@Bow Absolutely!! One for the glass, one for me, one for the glass, one for me! Then the whole glass for me too hehehe

Hey @Jynx @Bow I'll go to bed

I'm sorry not great company tonight

Goodnight both xxxx

You're wonderful company @BlueBay and that is a true fact on any and every night.

I understand you wanting to head off though, and I hope you are able to get off to sleep okay

@BlueBay

Sorry to hear you're have a tough time. Look after you, my sister. Thinking of you.

Thanks lovely @Jynx you're so kind.
I had another bad dream very unsettled

hi @oceangirl @Bow @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Owlunar @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor

our neighbours in two streets have a get together today for Christmas. We've never gone before and the way I feel I won't go today. I really don't want to mix with others.
I think I might see if hubby wants to go for a drive.

I just don't want to speak to lots of people atm.

It's up to you @BlueBay

You are going through a rotten time right now - and at Christmas - what a downer

I'm one of those people who like to get out and talk to people - I feel better afterwards - I guess it helps to distract me from the pain which is a little bumpy right now - the specialist is a bit ambitious - I like to distract myself

Distraction can help

But to agree with you on the hard time - my son was born early in December and that date is hard enough - it's followed by his adoption date which I have just had and that's a toughie - so every year this is an event I live through - I admit it does get easier.

However - I don't share this with many people - I am not as good at sharing tough issues as you are - good at sharing - I was brought up by a rather grumpy mother who didn't talk about tough stuff - but I learned to share it when it was helpful and appropriate

So - you choose - if staying at home and hiding is helpful - then do that - if you think going out for a drive is better - then do that - if going out for coffee etc with neighbours would do it for you - then do that - you can do all of those on the one day actually

But this is a hard time for you - I do understand -

This is a fact though - one I really understand - having years of Christmases without seeing my parents - their choice btw - their loss also. It was really hard.

And at anytime of the year I would have a dream that I saw my parents at Christmas and they would have presents for us but I didn't have any for them. Finally I was asked to see them at their Church on Christmas Day and I was the one with small presents for them - they had nothing for me. I can tell you - I didn't care about what they failed to give - I still - to this day - feel great that I had those small gifts

The way you deal with this is up to you - it is a time to grieve over what your mother said to do - and this time will pass and we have to learn to live with CÓVID - and so does your mother. I am actually being very careful myself because I have had to wait until the end of the year for my booster - the supply is short locally. I will be seeing my daughter on Christmas Day

Try hard to enjoy what you do have - crying for what we can't have is futile and wastes our chances for a good time - you have your family and a roof over your head and you live near the beach - I have these things too though I live a short bus trip from the beach here. I would love it if you just tried to appreciate the good things when you know what crap your mother always manages to deal out. With all due respect - why let her take so much from you? She isn't worth it

But you do have my love and friendship and I will always be honest with you - I think you are doing well actually and your art is impressive - that is a real gift

Dec

I'm sorry about your anniversaries and how difficult they are @Owlunar

i am so sorry that you had so many horrible encounters with your mum, how terribly sad

i understand and i feel for you, i really do - hugs xxxooo

i know what you mean about not having parents for Christmas and yes it's their loss, like my parents it is their loss; not mine. for i will have a great day with my children and little A. She is now staying all day with us as her dad will have her boxing day. Good for us, so we will enjoy her opening her presents and seeing her with her toys. oh i can't wait to see her smiling excited face.

I want my dad ...........

i know what you mean about not letting my mum get to me and wasting precious time because of her. I try but every now and then i get so upset, angry and then cry

i am going to try and sew some baby burp cloths today, it's raining outside so i will try to distract myself

i think atm i need distraction, even though i tried the other few days it didn't really help

i will chat later on today xxxooo

hi @oceangirl @Jynx @Bow @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor xxxooo

@BlueBay 💕😊🌷🌻👀👂

ok everyone - i distracted myself

i sewed and finished off 10 baby burp cloths

all in different fabric

really cute

i am tired now so i may have a rest for a bit

still cold and rainy here so can't go for a walk today

movie time and nap time i think

@Emelia8 @Owlunar @oceangirl @Bow @Snowie @Shaz51 @MDT

That's good to hear @BlueBay - I read your Christmas Message too

The weather is very unpleasant and I am having a bad pain day - I'm in bed texting - I will post later

Dec