Need to vent

Glad that your happy that you've got your hair cut!

ive had a bit of a mix of a day. Struggling a little bit at the moment.

Do you want to talk? @Bow

If not that's ok I understand.
xxx hugs xxx

Also here to listen if you need @Bow

@Bow here for you and sitting with you

thanks @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Jynx

I had an appointment with my dietitian today. It was hard. Challenged a lot of the ED behaviours that I am using to get through some really difficult days. Told me I need to drastically cut back on my exercise which made me really upset and I don't want to. I exercise to help with the constant flashbacks I am experiencing and I explained that to her, she understood, but was still concerned. Need to increase my intake too. All just too much on top of what I am already trying to deal with.

We stopped off and visited with some friends this afternoon with my D. Someone made the comment that I 'look healthy'. What does that even mean?? I felt annoyed. Felt self conscious.

Anyways, I'm home on my bike now.

@Bow That would have been a tough appointment for sure. Sounds like your dietician really cares about you - which is obviously a blessing, but that in itself can be challenging when you're dealing with difficult trauma responses.

And yeah, compliments like that can spin the mind a bit sometimes hey, especially with ED. Since our society has placed so much value on appearance alone, I've gotten into the habit of complimenting people on things that aren't related only to physical appearance. Like these:

The one I'd pass on to you today Bow, and to anyone else reading - "You make the world a better place by being in it."

I'm sorry @Bow you had a hard session today.
I understand why you go it. I get flashbacks and I try to do things to get rid of it.
Is there something else you could try to help?

I remember when I was going to gym excessively it gave me a "good feeling" so I would go more.

I feel for you. Hugs xxxx

Yes @Jynx she does seem to really care and I am really thankful that she seems to understand a little about trauma and flashbacks. I honestly thought being a dietitian she would not really understand any of it, and was anxious going into my appointment knowing that I would need to try and explain to her a little of what I have been facing the last couple of weeks and she just wouldn't get it. But she did.

And yes, guess that's something that I have been a lot more mindful off. It is so triggering for me. When society tells you that it's a good thing to have lost weight and that people will compliment you and praise you on your efforts. It's a really awkward conversation. People are basically praising me for torturing my body. 😩

People say the most weirdest things sometimes @Jynx @Bow

they either don't think before they speak or it just comes out!!!

I remember years ago when I was going to gym my mum made a comment. It really hurt. Even the wrong size clothing thst she gave me as a gift was a slap in the face.
people can be cruel

to be honest I struggle so much with compliments. I don't brlueve them to be true of what the person is saying.

hugs @Bow

Thanks @BlueBay

I haven't really found anything else that helps yet. I think exercise has just been my go to cause it also feeds into my ED. Exercise doesn't always decrease the frequency of my flashbacks but they do help with the intensity of them. Im also obsessive with my exercise. My dietitian has made some suggestions which I will try and give a go. Not sure how I will go though and I was honest with her in that regard.

I didn't really talk with my psychologist about the flashbacks, so it's something that I haven't really been prepared for. Will talk with her this week about it though.