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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

😢😢

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Try to rest in a cool place for a while @BlueBay and see if it helps to reduce your BP. If it stays that high for long, it would be sensible to see your GP or practice nurse to get it checked. Feel silly saying this, but .. try not to stress. 🌻😊

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @Emelia8

I feel terrible

I'm laying down becayse I feel dizzy

I know it's hard to not stress

I just called my GP and he said same as you to rest a bit

I just don't feel right

I feel really emotional

I'll see how I go

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm venting I'm sorry

everything is getting to me big time

I'm feeling very angry frustrated overwhelmed at life in general

I think I need to go away on my own

I should go to hospital

I am sorry I feel like a child right now

Need to get away

I need to break things

smash things

I'm going somewhere

don't know where

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm so sorry you are feeling such strong emotions atm @BlueBay


Please let me know if I can do something to help ❣️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

There is no need to apologize - we know you always feel unhappy with confused emotions whenever you have been away from home for a while - hospital or holidays - and I think I have explained that this is normal for people with BPD - it's called Transitional Ambivalence - my son had this and it was really hard for him to settle down after a change however pleasant it may have been - or not - so I do hear you

The best thing is to take it easy over the weekend and think - to yourself - what is the worst thing that can happen having extra shifts at work and learning the registers? Actually - you lack confidence and the best thing you can do about that is to take on new things. I know you feel shaky and unsure about this but it is what you have wanted and it will be really great for you - but you need to absorb what has happened.

Change is hard for you but you can deal with it - let it happen - it will be better than you imagine I am sure -

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You're so right @Owlunar chsnge for me is so difficult. I don't like chsnge but changes are inevitable.
I think once I learn register and new things I will settle. There will always be clicky people and politics.
I need to look up transitional ambivalence. Don't know what it means.
@WIP @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @MDT @Zoe7 and others following

I ended up in hodpital yesterday at 4pm and was discharged at 2.30am this mirning.
I was at the beach with hubby and little A. I stsrted to feel very light headed and just didn't feel well. We packed up and I got hubby to drop me off at my doctors. He checked my bp and it was high. I also had pain upper chest. He decided to call the ambulance and go to hodpital.

once there I was put on monitors, ECG, and blood tests. Came back sll good but had to repeat blood test after 6 hours.
The doctor said I have gastritis and all heart tests good. They still want me to see my cardiologist and gastroenterologist to check for possible ulcer.

my blood pressure stayed high for a little bit. Then they gave me strong pain meds and I felt worse. Couldn't walk straight. Had to hold onto things just to go toilet.
I'm exhausted so not doing much today.
I still feel a bit strange like drowsy.


In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You are a battler @BlueBay
And it is one of things I admire in your spirit
Take care my friend

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Oh dear @BlueBay sounds like a really challenging, scary day. At least the diagnosis isn't something untreatable.

Try to take it easy today if you can - sounds like your body and mind both need some rest until you have tests from your gastro & cardo ❣️ I hope they can pin point what's going on with you.

Take care,

WIP ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Sorry to hear you have been/ are unwell.

I hope today is a bit better. Take care. 💙💙

131 - 140 of 4,898