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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

1,241 - 1,250 of 4,898

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone

@Anastasia @Shaz51 @Eve7 @pamplemousse @TideisTurning @Emelia8 @saltandpepper @MDT @Owlunar @BPDSurvivor abd ithers I've forgotten

I'm sorry I haven't replied to any replies. But I'm very thankful for all your support.

things haven't really settled much. I'm on a different med to help me sleep.I'm crying a lot. Headache disappeared last week but came back yesterday. I'm staying in bed all day and have not showered or washed my hair. My bed is the only place I have stayed. It's not like me. I shower dsily and look after myself. I'm never like this.
my mood is quite low. My thoughts are negative. and it's becoming a regular thing.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
my GP told me thst he feels a hospital stay would not be good for me as that's what BPD people do. Reach out for hospital but then they're worse and nothing changes once they're home again.

gp suggests I need to eirk on self esteem core beliefs to help with getting stronger. And to believe in myself.
my psychiatrist is aware of how I'm going. Seeing his colleague next Saturday afternoon for extra support.

I'm seeing a new psychologist on Monday. Not looking forward to that. Having to tell her everything again.
life is so hard at times.

@Owlunar wish you were here. Hope you're ok.

I hope everyone is doing ok. Xxxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm leaving

sorry everyone

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay ,

We are sitting with you. Please reach out if you need to.

Thinking of you,

Radius

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

There's no point anymore

I'm nobody

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay ,

Sorry you are feeling so lonely and isolated. we are all here for your support. You cane also reach out and speak to our Help Centre counsellor through our telephone and webchat.
Please be safe or reach out to the crisis supports if you are unsafe. I popped them below if needed:
Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Radius

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks but don't need the numbers @Former-Member

I'm going - can't say why

it's too hard to explain

I'm a nobody

im sorry to you and everyone

don't worry about me

I'm a nobody anyway

so it doesn't matter

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 🤗💕

Emelia

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sending you love @BlueBay

You are very special 💓

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone. I'm not feeling great at the moment.

Is it okay if I just list things that are on my mind?

The following things are on my mind.

- My housemate threatening to end the lease and cut off the power

- Money worries

- My schizophrenia symptoms causing distress

- Very scared of going into lockdown again in Melbourne

- My car issues

- Centrelink stuff

- Trouble with the property manager of our house and them lying about not getting any money from us

- My housemates legal issues

- Fear of the police and Dan Andrews

- scared of calling for help as the mental health team doesn't believe me due to my BPD diagnosis

- The voices telling me to shut down and hide

- Scared of getting hurt

- Scared that I'll fail uni and that my housemate is plotting to ruin it for me by not letting me study

- getting Covid-19

- Going out to shops because of fear of getting Covid-19

- My housemates behaviour with an intellectual disability and mental health issues

Sorry about this rant. Just ignore me.

Judi9877

1,241 - 1,250 of 4,898