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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm not sure there is an easy way @BlueBay I think we just have to take care as best we can during times like this. Good onya for trying a relaxing bath, that's all you can do really, take care

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi friends @saltandpepper @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Shaz51 and others reading

Had an appt with my doctor this morning. I told him about my headaches not gooing away. He took my BP and of course it was high. Yesterday it was low at home. He is not happy because my BP seems to either go too high or drop too low. There isn't an in between. He did some tests last week and they came back - kidneys not great, high cholesterol, high sugars. I told him that i am still extremely tired. He is considering me to have an calcium score test which is a scan to check the arteries if they are blocked or how much calcium (if any) are in the arteries. It's good that my cardiologist goes to my clinic. I told him about work and he was shocked at the reduced hours and how they did not notify me at all. He said in a way he is happy that i am now doing less hours. But he has filled out a centrelink form for me to say that i can only work 9 hours a week due to my ongoing mental health issues. This way now i won't have to look for 20 jobs for the month each month. My GP was worried that i am going backwards but now with less work he said i can concentrate on doing thing i enjoy on my days off and get my mental health back on track.

in regards to my new psychologisty that i am speaking to today, he said she isn't the one he recommended. he said he is friends with this particular psychologist so now he will speak with her and see if she can see me. he said this particular one is a better fit for my issues.

so i have now got to really watch my food intake and exercise. i have just walked around the block for 30 mins and i will go again this afternoon. i need to lose weight but it is hard because at times i tend to over eat becasue of my emotions.

off now to do some house cleaning - yuk!!! LOL

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning all @saltandpepper @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Shaz51 and others

another weird night of nightmares. This headache is still hanging around too which is annoying. It's cold and raining here.

I'm working today 10-3. Then back on Saturday morning. I'm going to stay in bed tomorrow.

@Owlunar ❤️ missing you

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

G'day @BlueBay
Thinking of you my awesome friend

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @MDT wishing you a great day 🙂

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK!!!

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay
How are you atm?
You didn't sound great earlier is all

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hey @MDT

I am ok i guess. i got to work and when it was time for my 10 min lunch break the retail manager (the one who changed my roster) says to me "oh i need to talk to you". at this point i am thinking she is getting rid of me and if she says that i will just walk straight out. she says to me 'oh about the roster, we needed staff'. that's all she said and then has the cheek to ask me if i wanted to stay back until 7pm!!! to which i said no sorry i can't.

the owner who i spoke to last week about me not well didn't even ask how i was. they are all toxic, i thought it may have changhed with the new owner but nah not really.

i still have this damn headache that i can't get rid of. going to have an early night and tomorrow i am staying in my pj's all day; i don't care. not going to do a single thing. (that's called self care, right??!!!)

how was your day my friend?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I empathise with your toxic workplace experience @BlueBay

You have an ear here with me.

My day was busy. I did a lot of physical stuff. I need to do my stupid internshhip too. But I'll see how I go.

Right now I am thinking about toxic people and whether to cut them out of my life. Its a hard and weird situation to be in

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks for your support @MDT sorry I didn't reply earlier.
@saltandpepper @Faith-and-Hope @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor and others reading

I need to vent. My BPD is not good right now. In fact if I could self harm I would.

As you know I've had a headache for about a week. Yesterday I was getting leg and back cramps. I stayed in bed took some pain meds and magnesium powder drink. I called my GP who was fully booked for a week. The receptionist said she would pass my message to my doctor. No call back yesterday. That's ok I knew he would be busy.
this morning I called and receptionist said she speak with dr and call me back. I just got a call from another receptionist saying to just go to the hospital. And thst I have an appt next wed.

im angry hurt. Feel rejected. Feel hurt. Feel they all must hate me. They must think "there's that mentsl lady sgsin". I'm angry at my doctor. I know he's busy but a quick phone call would have been enough.
My BPD head is not good today. Right now I hate them all.

Just saw on doctors booking service there was an appointment to see him at 9.30. Why didn't they offer that to me. It's because they don't like me.
I am going to talk to my doctor next Wednesday. I'm angry.
If I didn't have BPD I could see him at that 9.30 spot. But because I hsvr BPD no one wants to see me.

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