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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @MDT i think I may have blown this new job. Who would want someone who is so screwed up - me.
I think I will speak with my psychologist on Friday. See if I need a hospital admission.
I'm so emotional 😭

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I feel so sick in my stomach

is There anyone around???

wish I could stop my leg from shaking

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

discomfort in my chest all day

think it's anxiety maybe??

@BPDSurvivor @MDT @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @saltandpepper @Eve7

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Ohh @BlueBay ❤❤❤

Here for you xx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

With your very high blood pressure I'd probably get it all checked out @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @saltandpepper @Shaz51 @MDT @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @Owlunar and others reading

I'm glad I had tiday off. Had my psych appt this morning; then coffee with my daughter snd little A. I brought littke A to my house and we made some paper crowns and she decorated them. Kinda drop off and then grocery shopping. Unpack shopping then 40 min walk listening to music. Afternoon coffee then took jersey for a run. Little A back from kinda and now she's asleep.
it was a beautiful day.
Wirk tomorrow which I'm not used to 10-1pm. Then prob a walk to the beach.
Today's psychologist appt has left me feeling a little unease about the sessions.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like a busy but great day today @BlueBay 👍

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

It was good because I wasn't at work. Busy but nice day @saltandpepper

how was your day ?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like a good day my sister @BlueBay 😀❤☕☕

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi my friends @Shaz51 @saltandpepper @MDT @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8 @Owlunar and others

This morning I had an appt with a different psychiatrist on the request of my normal psych. This guy was very nice, he just wanted to check in on me to see how i was as he knew from mhy psych that i wasn't going so well a few weeks ago. I explained that my D moved out and that i have just started work. And that i have been very anxious.

He didn't want to go into the trauma side of things as it was a quick appt. But he suggested that I wait another week or so and if i still feel anxious like i have been that he or my psych can admit me into hospital for a break.

I worked this morning 10-1pm which was okay. time went very quickly as I was busy serving customers. And one customer rememberred me from years ago and had a good chat with her. It's nice when people remember you.

Got home and hubby and I went down the beach for a coffee and a drive to another area we are thinking of moving to. It's about 30 mins from here but more inland so the beach won't be so close as now. But that's okay. There are new housing estates that are really nice. We have decided to put our house on the market in the next few months. Hubby wants to clean up the garage a bit and we need to top up our garden with mulch and rocks on the sides. The inside is pretty clean and tidy. Once we sell then we can look at either purchasing a house or buy house and land package in whcih case we may need to rent for a little. Not quite sure, will have to wait and see.

I was saying to hubby yhestgerday. It's crazy here we are with a home that is valued at a crazy high price and here I am stressing about working, my health affecting me and I am not happy. Why have this asset sitting here when we can sell it, pay off our mortgage and live comfortably. It really makes sense to sell. He has 3 yrs to go to reach 20 years at his job then he will probably cut back to part time and we can enjoy ourselves and travel around Australia a bit (if we can with Covid??)

I've said to hubby we need a goal and a plan. because if we don't we won't sell. So we will most likely put house on market in spring. The agent that sold our last home now lives across the road from us. He was very good to us last time so we will most likely use him again.

Little A last night wasn't well, she fell asleep while i was holding her. she had a temp so i gave her some meds and then put her to bed. she actually slept all night and about 6am i could her saying 'nonna can we talk'. next thing she was in our bed and then it was up for breakfast and she wanted to draw. shes such a good girl. and i love it so much when she says to me randomly 'nonna i love you so much' - oh my heart melts

i hope everyone is doing okay today xxxxooo

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