Struggling with a friend's diagnosis.

@Powderfinger I don’t know what to say. But letting you know I’m listening. Take care. 💙

@Powderfinger I agree about lack of support groups. There are several face to face meeting groups in my city but they all take place during business hours so I can't attend.

I've found a lot of solace in these forums and I'm sure you already know how helpful the phone service can be.

also bphope.com is a fabulous blog/website and you can read all the articles without subsribing to the magazine

my partner really only has one friend left and I'm amazed that this man is still taking calls from my partner despite the rages that happen periodically - I guess because he knew him before the illness took hold.

for my bloke "pumped full of medication" is the only way he ever has any real quality of life, so horses for courses

Love S x

@Powderfinger

The carers side of the forum, might address some of the issues and help you set boundaries and remain in relationship with a person you care about. Diagnosis seems to be more of an art than a science .... not sure what to make of it all, as I had such a hard time getting diagnosis myself. Hearing you about concerns re being pumped full of meds. I go with a harm minimisation approach, which ironically is common in the D&A field. Both my parents had serious diagnoses but were very different people and personalities. It does not mean she will be the same as you partner.

Take Care

Hi @Powderfinger

I think the carer forums will be able to help you more. I'm not a carer but I have lived experience.

I have many friends and family who don't believe the diagnosis I have. How we present to people is not always accurate. My diagnosis/s are actually accurate though. Also, no one has the exact same experience of a mental illness. People can have the same diagnosis and have very very different symptoms, thoughts, ideas, behaviours, perceptions etc. From my experience I wish people around me validated my diagnosis because it would have allowed me to move forward and cope. Without the validation it brings shame, uncertainty and hopelessness in being able to recover. That is from my experience anyway.

@SJT63

Thank you for sharing. I'm not able to respond to any of it. I am having difficulty thinking straight lately. It's damn exhausting. Through it all, I will not leave. She is a beautiful person The diagnosis is a diagnosis. One day at a time. It's not always easy to know what to do. No one is perfect but I know for me I have good intentions. I guess I will just keep plodding along.

@Appleblossom

Yeah,I may reach out in the caters forum. Boundaries are good and needed. Bi polar or not, boundaries are good. Well so far she is on trial for one medication. It's a low dose, I imagine to be increased slowly pending how she copes or not copes with it. She was meant to go on a second one at the same time but it is not on the PBS and is very expensive. So, it is back to the psychiatrist to find a cheaper alternative.

Of course she has my support. She also has a great doctor. It's hard to find a good doctor these days. I lost faith in doctors myself but this doctor is restoring that. It's just going to be a bit tough for a while with hopefully a good outcome.

@Aniela

I'm sorry you have been invalidated. In my case, I have not invalidated my friend. It just came as a shock to me when I found out. You may not understand it from my experience and perspective but that is what it is. It was hard to hear her say things I never even knew in all our time as friends. My head spun. Everything happened so fast. I am still getting my head around it and there is nothing wrong with that.

I have not abandoned my friend and I won't. I will not abandin me either. I need my own self care from my own battles of a mental illness.

I hope you are able to surround yourself with more people that validate you instead of invalidate you.

Ramble.