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A lot tired of it all

One20yCasual Contributor06 Aug 2016, 10:44 pm AEST

A lot tired of it all

I'm new to this, but to put it simply, I've been struggling my way through major depressive disorder for the past 2 years or so.. A lot has happened over the 2 years, a lot has changed.. I've been 'getting help' with it since May last year and honestly, I don't feel any better at all. It's just like a long worthless struggle day in, day out.. I go to work for what? To make money so I can live, so I can feed my dog and keep him in full health.. I'm not sure where I would be without the dog..
I just can't see the worth in it all anymore. I've spent over 12 months seeing a psychologist that doesn't seem to get me. I spent 9 months waiting to see a psychiatrist, taking antidepressants that weren't doing me any good only to have to taper back off them.. And then sessions get cancelled, and moved back further and further.. I really just want to be able to say I'm done with it all, and I give up.. But to give up, means absolutely nothing for me because I don't plan to end my life.. There's not even anything for me to give up on.
Some nights I just really wish I had someone who I could call on and just rant about everything with.. But I keep this from as many people as I can, and those who know, I either don't want to talk with, or they have problems of their own going on.. So I sit. I donno, maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight. Just needed to go blaaaaah.

7 replies

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In response to: A lot tired of it all

smilingNew Contributor06 Aug 2016, 11:14 pm AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

Yeah Sat. night and what I would do to pat a dog. My old cat just do it for me. Glad they are giving you some good vibes,and no doubt you return them.

In response to: Re: A lot tired of it all

Unknown userMember06 Aug 2016, 11:28 pm AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

Hi @One20y

Welcome to the forums. I'm so glad that you have come here, I also have Major Depression and have really struggled to feel like i'm getting anywhere with recovery from it. At times i'm ok, but still just feel like im existing rather than living.

When i read that you don't feel like your psychologist 'gets' you that if it were me i would look for someone else. I have a a rapport with my psychologist that has been so important in being able to be fully honest with her.

Life line can be a good place to call and just get things off yoru chest, feel connected to someone, though I have had mixed experiences with them (and i only ever use the online chat as i'm not good at talking on the phone).

There are lots of people here who I know will understand well the place that you are at and have thier own experiences to share.

Hi @smiling

Welcome to the forums,

I too love my animals and they help to keep me sane! I have two cats and we just adopted a dog from the local refuge. He's a crazy, gorgeous kelpie who we all love already!

I hope to see you both around the forums,

In response to: A lot tired of it all

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Aug 2016, 3:06 am AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

Welcome @One20y. This is the place to have a rant or a chat at any time. I understand your frustrations. You have no intention of suicide, but the frustration is building as you don't seem ti be getting anywhere. I hear you.
Unfortunately I've found it's a case of persevering and fighting to get what you need. Sometimes the first or even second psychologist or medication is not the right one for you. Would be great if there was one tablet that would fix us all instantly. I wish.
But you have found this forum niw and hopefully you will bond with people here & may get some practical lived experiences, that will help you.
I wish you the best. Keep fighting

In response to: A lot tired of it all

1stepup61Senior Contributor07 Aug 2016, 8:13 am AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

Hi @One20y, Welcome! I understand the feelings your having. I am glad you found this site because everyone i have encountered has been welcoming and helpful and it has helped me so much. i dont feel so alone with my illness anymore, because i know they really do understand me here. I think because your appointments have delayed your treatment, you might need to talk to your GP? The giving up feeling and struggle your having, is somthing we all here greatly sympathise with you about. Have you got a doctor that you follow up with as a GP? Is there one friend or family member you can confide in? They might know of a good GP if you need to find another one? I tried 2 GPs till i found the GP I have now and I can talk to him which makes a big difference. Must go, couldnt sleep and its nearly time to get up. BFN, @1stepup61

In response to: A lot tired of it all

SehnsuchtSenior Contributor07 Aug 2016, 11:16 pm AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

We are here for your blaaaahhhh.

I hear you. It is draining. Not being heard is exhausting. We hear you, you need a doctor that will do the same. X

In response to: A lot tired of it all

One20yCasual Contributor11 Aug 2016, 12:16 am AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

The GP is good, it's the psychologist, psychiatrist situation that I've kind of given up on.. I've decided that I'm not going to bother taking antidepressants for now, thus eliminating the need for the psychiatrist.. And I've found a new psychologist, but as I goes, can't get in there for another week -_-

In response to: A lot tired of it all

utopiaSenior Contributor11 Aug 2016, 12:48 am AEST

Re: A lot tired of it all

@One20y. That's great you found a new psychologist. Pity you have to wait 3 weeks. That's frustrating. But you can talk to us anytime you need to.

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