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Isolation

StaticCasual Contributor05 Aug 2016, 8:08 pm AEST

Isolation

Hi, I'm new, I don't know if this will help? - I don't know if anything helps? I have a complicated life (as I know we all do) sometimes it feels like there's no way out of the complications and the walls keep closing in around me. I've been fighting for decades and I'm tired, really damn tired. I have bipolar, have had since 17, I'm 40 now. I have a multitude of other health problems, endocrine, renal, neurological, gastrointestinal, severe sleep apnoea, spinal etc. etc. nothing that's going to do me in, which is good, I guess, but plenty to make my life a living hell. My social life is hospital appointments, doctors appointments, pathology tests and the like. My friends distanced themselves along time ago cause simply I'm not the fun guy I used to be, I can't go out without a ton of planning and preparation. I can't just crash the night without Cpap. I can't drink and take rec drugs like I used to (plenty of heavy duty prescribed meds, but I'd give my left leg to never have to take them again!). My day consists of dropping my kids at school doing a few chores, paying bills and then picking them up again. My wife works ALOT she teaches 9-10hrs a day and teaches dance all day Saturday, Sunday is all housework and getting ready for the following week. All up we'd spend about 24hours a week together.l at best. Sometimes I need someone to talk to. Lifelines a waste of time - they don't have anything to offer other than to say, sorry that sucks. Psychologists are much the same - they reach a point where there's nothing more we can do and have to part ways (I'm a dream patient btw - always trying everything suggested). Psychiatrists just want to medicate, which in my case causes side effects that complicate other health issues and to be honest there's not much they can give me that isn't contraindicated anyway. Worst of all their meds add weight gain which really makes things worse. On top of that, they cause sleep apnoea to jump off the charts. The best form of medicine is not to isolate myself, to get out and interact. The problem with me is people don't like me. I don't know if it's cause of IQ or just a bad vibe thing? but most people won't give me anymore time than they have to.(we definitely never catch up again). I don't relate to them and they don't relate to me. I walk around locked in a permanent state of isolation over which I have zero control. My parents and siblings rarely call, even though we live 20mins from one another and they never visit. I feel like such a sook whinging about all of this at 40 yrs of age, but I just don't understand why I receive zero support from people who I'm related to? I could go on but like I said will this even help? I can't say ...I'm at the point in my life where I just want to lay down and stay asleep ...I'm tired of it all. I don't think anyone can fix me. I don't think they'd want to if they could anyway?

4 replies

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In response to: Isolation

KurraSenior Contributor05 Aug 2016, 8:54 pm AEST

Re: Isolation

Tough stuff @Static
I've found giving to other people has helped me a lot. Giving as in time and effort. There's the charity op shops of course. They always welcome people who are happy to help out and you should be able to limit the number of hours you give to your personal needs both physically/mentally and still being able to look after the kids properly. When I've been in a position where I can't trust anyone else or can't get the help I need I start relying on me more and looking for ways I can help myself.

In response to: Re: Isolation

AppleblossomSenior Contributor06 Aug 2016, 12:08 am AEST

Re: Isolation

Hi @Static How old are your kids? I agree that getting out and interacting is the best way to break isolation. Volunteering can be great as you can limit the time to balance with your other commitments. There are also conservation groups that might only meet occasionally ...

It is the way I broke out of my isolation .. yes the op shop and others things ... was a receptionist once a month in a family therapy place ... I did it for 4 years but then we moved ...

Dont underestimate the value of being there for your kids ...

In response to: Re: Isolation

CherryBombSenior Contributor10 Aug 2016, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: Isolation

Some really great ideas from @Appleblossom and @Kurra - giving and helping others can also help you too.

You mentioned that you don't really get to spend much time with your wife. Does she know how you feel? Could you work together to try and find some time to spend some quality time together?

In response to: Isolation

utopiaSenior Contributor21 Aug 2016, 1:20 am AEST

Re: Isolation

Hi @Static. I just read your post. You have so nuch going on health wise - no wonder it can be such a huge struggle for you.
keep talking to us here on this site if it helps you.
A suggestion: I wonder if there are any support groups for some of your physical illnesses and mental illness. If you live in a capital city, I'm sure there will be groups that meet and offer support and friendship - as they understand some of what you are going through. Maybe larger towns may also have support groups.
It's hard for people outside the MI community to understand. I know from my mums multiple physical and neurological health issues - that sone family still choose not to recognise or even learn about her illnesses. It's a bloody shame, as she is a wonderful woman and is more that just her illnesses. As are you.
I'd love to hear if you are able to find some support groups. Keep in touch. I wish you well.

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