LBGTIQA+ Social Space

hi @Adge, nice to meet you too! 😊I hope the weather's improved - it's awful when it's so hot like that, especially if like me you don't have air con. Glad to hear that you're otherwise good 💐

@Schitzo oh nice, all the best for the new job! And thank you, that's kind of you to wish  Unfortunately a not great thing happened yesterday evening, but some close friends of mine supported me and I'm better now - so at least yesterday was kind to me in terms of my friends 😅I hope today is kind to you too!

I get that @Eden1919 - hoping things get better for you soon  I'm going alright, thanks! I've got a number of things I'm looking forward to over the next week or so, so I think my mood's pretty good because of that ✨

hey @NatureLover👋🏼I'm sorry to hear that your call to QLife wasn't helpful- I usually hear good feedback about them. I'm glad, however, that in a roundabout way it led to a helpful session with an LGBTIAQ social worker counsellor! I also see an LGBTIAQ mental health social worker and I've found it to be a good experience. Are you planning on continuing to see them? All the best if so 🌈

Hihi @Former-Member, 

I'm non-binary and bisexual and find it really hard to open up to people who I am. 
I find Qlife helpful, also have done a lot of reading on how to accept myself for who I am. 

I've been struggling of recent but I'm getting abit better now. 

How are you? 

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@Former-Member wrote:

hey @NatureLover👋🏼I'm sorry to hear that your call to QLife wasn't helpful- I usually hear good feedback about them. I'm glad, however, that in a roundabout way it led to a helpful session with an LGBTIAQ social worker counsellor! I also see an LGBTIAQ mental health social worker and I've found it to be a good experience. Are you planning on continuing to see them? All the best if so 🌈

---

Yes, I understand that QLife is very good in general. The mental health social worker gave me lots of references to read and follow up, so I will see her again if I need /as needed. 

It's good to have you here on the forums, @Former-Member  🙂

@Fluttershy1 we're so similar! - I identify as pansexual / queer.

That's perfectly understandable that you can struggle to open up to people about who you are - I also find it hard unless I'm in a group of people who I know are also queer, or at least are likely to be supportive. And yes the path to self-acceptance for me took years. I'm now very proud of who I am 🌈 Finding community was really important in this process for me.

Take good care 

& I'm good thanks! Looking forward to the weekend 

@NatureLover it's great to be here 💞

Hi to all here.  @Former-Member @outlander @NatureLover @Fluttershy1 @Eden1919  @Adge and everyone else.  I'm kinda missing in action at the moment but think of this thread often.  Lovely to see all the support and understanding and acceptance here.   I too identify as pansexual/queer and have long wanted to see a community of likeminded people develop on the forums.  Take care and stay safe everyone.  I tend to post what's happening for me on the A long rave thread, tho not much lately.  I have a new home and lots has been happening, mostly the good stuff.  I have a couple of holidays coming up now, but will be around again more often before too long.

Happy Christmas to those who celebrate it, and happy times to all.  May you feel safe and supported.

Bless @eth that's so lovely to know that you often think about this thread 🌈💞 All the very best for you too over the holiday season.

~

If you all didn't see, Elliot Page recently came out as transgender (he/they pronouns), and while he acknowledges the pain that can come from society as a result of being queer & trans, they also wrote this really beautiful sentiment that also resonated with me and I wanted to share it with you all:
"I love that I am trans. And I love that I am queer. And the more I hold myself close and fully embrace who I am, the more I dream, the more my heart grows and the more I thrive." 🌈

@Eden1919 @Schitzo @eth @Rebel @Shaz51 @Candydipper1 @Jynx @Adge  @Snowie  @outlander @TheVorticon @NatureLover @The-red-centaur @Maggie 

Finally, hugs, love & support to anyone feeling affected by the news about Bridget Flack in Melbourne There's been a lot of grief in the community over the last few days. If you're feeling affected by this (or anything) remember, you can always reach out to QLife by call or webchat.

Don't post here at all really. Even though I am non binary and love women only, I don't have a box. I just am wherever I am. Whether it be with straight people, weird shaped people, people with different colours or lgbtqi people. I just be wherever I am. 

Anyway, this isn't really poetry, just some thoughts I'm having and feelings over my relationship recently ending. Cheers. 

When I think about how fascinated we both were at the amount of texts we sent each other and accrued hours of talking in the phone before we met in person for the first time to how it is now, I can say I don't even know what I'm meant to feel. I feel sad and then I think no point and I'm back to empty,/numb again. It's so different now, we don't even talk anymore. Living in the same house and not even uttering a single word to each other. I just feel nothing. Numb, lifeless. You're moving out, I don't know when. You already moved out a long time ago. None of us is left in thus house. It's like It be just wiped any existence of what was. I've fought to stay here as I feel in love with our new home when I found it. You did too. Except we got here and things just went to hell in a handbasket. 

I find that I'm not interested in why anything anymore. I gave up because you would never tell me why for anything. I've gotten to a point in my reflections where I believe you never really loved me. I was a shiny new toy. It's another painful realisation  I can't ask you because I don't trust you and it's a pointless question. Either answer would do nothing for me. 

I guess day by day every memory for me is just becoming less meaningful. I'm over the words heartbroken, devastated, hurt, crushed, pain, anger. They are so empty. I realise there are no words that convey how I feel. 

With time and distance I realise you were really abusive. It takes time to step out and fully see it. I knew in some ways you were. I kept making up things in my mind. I needed to be patient. This is the first time in your life you are actually loved genuinely and deeply. I had so much compassion and forgiveness. It didn't make any difference like I thought it would. You just got worse. 

The stonewalling was part of your abuse. Days on end of not talking to me, pretending I didn't exist. I think to myself now, wow what a crappy internal world of horror you must live in. I did try and make that world if horror a better place but hey sometimes you just can't plant a new garden in infertile soil. 

The thing is now I understand that when you truly do love someone in the way I loved you, was the things you did to me were not out of love. I know you do not care about the damage you are going to leave behind. I'm tired if looking for justice in my life. It has never come and never will. I also know there is not a thing people can say to me that can ever fix what had been broken so many times. I've finally reached a place where I don't even want to fix it anymore. 

I have no desire to speak anymore either. At times over the years when I just couldn't cope with my pain, I used to say to myself just disappear somewhere. Just completely disappear never to be found again. Just stop talking. I would think about movies I'd watched with people who lived a mostly hermit life and were completely happy. I've reached a point in my life where I really do think I would be happy with that life. It's not about running away. I can never escape the horror of my life. It's about the fact that the dreams I had for my life with you and many years before you came a long truly have lost any meaning for me. Furthermore I find myself not wanting to revive them. I have come to a point in my life now where I understand that whatever dreams I've chosen to keep, I can do on my own and I feel I would be much more content and happy. 

I think about you coming back like you say you will and It actually am very unsure if I want you too are all. I've died so many times with you that I feel like saying to you there is nothing for you to come back for or too. You made your choices. You had many chances. A case of too little too late. I feel I've let you go. 

Every day now, even though I see you and you are there, you just don't exist. The life we had doesn't exist and I never was part of your life. You said you would not know what to do without me and could never imagine life without me. When I think about that I still feel numb/ nothing. Empty devoid of any love or interest. You're a complete stranger. . 

Hi 🌈 

Welcome to the community @petrichor 😊🏳️‍🌈

Thinking of everyone and sending positive vibes if you're needing it 💗🌻🌈 edit: or even if you don't! I'm sending them anyway 😊

 @Shaz51, @Snowie, @outlander, @The-red-centaur ,  @Eden1919 , @Schitzo, @NatureLover , @Maggie, @TheVorticon , @Adge , @Fluttershy1 , @eth , @Rebel, @Jynx 

hello @petrichor , how are you going today 

hello @eth , @Powderfinger , @outlander , @Former-Member