Feeling overwhelmed - not coping 😮

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Hi Bridget,

Sorry to hear you’re not doing so well – sounds like you’re having a rough day! To-do lists usually bring up a lot of anxiety and stress for me, especially when the length of the list doesn’t match my mood!

I hear that you’re feeling like things are all a bit too hard at the moment and that you just feel like you need a break. So I’m wondering if you can take that break for yourself today? Even if it’s something small, what is something that you could do that you really enjoy, something to rally your spirits and give yourself a little rest. Sometimes it can be helpful to do something nice to get your mood back on track, and then approach your to-do list once you’re feeling a bit more settled.

Hope things pick up for you this afternoon!

All the best,
supernova.

Thankyou for your reply @Former-Member I went back to bed for a bit of a sleep after school drop off. I need extra sleep, because of years of insomnia. I am finding it difficult to know what I actually enjoy, due to depression. (which is slowly improving ).

I guess the to do list gets put aside to the point where I can't ignore things anymore. Eg. a lump that needs an ultrasound (getting bigger). Sounds so simple to make an appointment, but to me that is a huge stress, due to biopsies in the past and BCCs being removed often. Sorry for the whinge, just trying to deal with all my inner turmoils and constant negative thoughts, that I have to turn into positives constantly.

It's a daily battle for me, which at times I find very exhausting.

I will get better, just very frustrating that it is taking so long.

Thanks again.

@Former-Member I'm hoping it will help me sharing my thoughts on here, hoping for some support and ideas from others. I've been doing it alone for so long now, nice to have a bit of encouragement.

Hi @Former-Member,

Good to hear back from you! And no need to apologise, it's certainly not a whinge! Supporting each other through hard times is exactly what this community is here to do.

It sounds pretty understandable that booking in that appointment might be something that you put off and don't feel particuarly motivated to do. I put off going to dentist when the time comes around, so I can't imagine what it must be like to try and book an appointment for an ultrasound on a lump.

Something I stumbled across a little while ago is this concept from DBT called "Wise Mind" that you might helpful. It is a useful tool to try and integrate different voices in our head, for example, you might have one voice that represents your emotions, telling you about all the negative things about this appointment. Then you might also have your rational voice telling you about how it would be a good idea to book in the scan. When we have both of these voices in our head they might just talk back and forth at eachother and you in the middle just go around in circles, tormented by this constant chatter. When we use our "wise mind" we try to integrate both of these voices, rather than listening to one or the other, we bring them both together, and try to honour what they are both telling us. This allows us to make a "wise" decision that is informed by all of the different aspects of ourself, for example, our wise mind might say "I am really worried about booking in this appointment but it's something that I want to do" or "I want to book in this scan and I am really scared about it". You might be able to articulate this better based on how you're thinking about the situation of course!

I don't know if you find this helpful, but I've found this wise mind idea really valuable when I'm oscilating between emotion and rationality. My wise mind helps me feel how I feel, while still letting me do what I know I need to do.

Here's a link to a nice little diagram as well - Wise Mind

Hope that's helpful!

supernova.

Thankyou @Former-Member. I will look at Wise Mind later. I appreciate your help. Yes, it can be tricky getting on top of negative thoughts/feelings.
I've had dentist appointments as well. So many appointments all the time. I tell myself, a step at a time. Start with one appointment then move on to the next.
The trouble is, by the time I almost get to the end of the appointments, I have to start over again. 😂 6 monthly skin checks etc. Great fun 😀
Read a book on ADD. One of the symptoms is lack ofmotivation, not impressed, hehe! I like to achieve, bit hard without motivation. Another symptom is, constant negative thoughts, great! 😀 So, as you can imagine, having ADD on top of the other things is a constant battle, a battle I WILL WIN. 😀
Thanks for listening. 😊

Hi @Former-Member I feel for you, it's very annoying, I know.

My husband is going out on his own tonight, because I don't feel up to going (as usual). I really want to get out and enjoy myself, go different places, meet new people, but it just seems impossible lately.

I was taking a medication for a few months at the beginning of the year, it worked wonders, but then it stopped working and started to make me feel worse. So I'm back to trying to cope in life without meds. It was devastating for me when the medication stopped working. It was the first time in my life (since primary school) that I felt alive. It was great. I thought, wow! is this how people actually feel?

I don't know your story, do you struggle with adult ADD? I'd love to hear your story, if you feel like sharing it with me.

Did you end up going out tonight?

I am used to being alone and I try not to let it get me down, but, it would be so nice to be able to enjoy myself occassionally. Depression isn't something I can snap out of, I've tried. I can't take antidepressants either, they make me feel worse. I tried taking them for anxiety. I read a book on ADD, written by a psychiatrist in the US. He said that alot of people with ADD can't take antidepressants. Interesting book, wish I was in the US so I could visit his clinic. He has helped alot of people. Doctors here don't seem to know much about it. One doctor looked at me and said, but your not all "jittery". Oh my gosh! It's ADD without the "H". I have had ZERO help from doctors.

Look forward to hearing from you.