Am I just crazy?

Hi @phaze. Sounds like you are going through some major issues at the moment.
A few questions: does your husband not 'believe' in mental health? Or does he not believe you have mental Illness?
I'm assuming you have previously been diagnosed by a psychiatrist and that because you are on medication, that yiu are being monitored by your gp.
It is not safe to just stop taking your medications. It really does need to be under the supervision of your doctor. This is for a few reasons: you can have some negative side effects if just going off your meds- cold turkey.
Your depression may get worse. Leading to SI.
Anyone who is wanting to fall pregnant in the nnear future who take medication - regardless of it being a mental or physical illness, need to discuss this with their gp. There are medications that are safe to take while pregnant. Other medications may need to be changed.
It sounds like your husband doesn't want any more children. He puts you down and doesn't respect you. He doesn't parent his existing children - he lets them run amok.
He shows no redpect for your psychiatrist & gp. He knows better than them.
I'd seriously think long and hard whether this is the man you want to be the father of your child - when he can not show you any respect.
Please go and see your gp. Speak honestly. Let your gp give uou the information you need.
I wish you all the best

Thank you for your reply. He doesn't believe in mental illness. He thinks that everybody gets down and you just have to get over it.
I am slowly going off my meds and am monitored by my gp. The gp recommended going off my meds to try and have a child but if I can't then it wouldn't be the end of the world.
I'm see a psychologist whom has given me some assertive strategies ect so perhaps if i work on myself and the way I communicate, it might help my feelings about myself and my relationship.
In truth I think my husband needs to see someone about his mental health but I doubt that would ever happen

Dear phase. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm inclined to go along with utopia. Your hubby sounds a bit of a chauvinist. With mental health disorders, it's not simply a case of 'get over it'. People who bipolar never 'get over it'. Your hubby seems to be almost contributing to your anxiety issues with his controlling attitude. I would rethink the whole relationship if I were you. Having children is a commitment to the relationship, it sounds as though he does not want that commitment. I understand your desire for children, every woman has those desires. There's nothing you can do about him or his attitude, but you can look at your feelings. He almost sounds narcissistic on top of chauvinistic. As utopia suggested have a talk with your Dr about your AD's, children (if it would be safe) etc. I would also think about the long term situation you're in. Children can be extremely taxing, if you were to have them, where is your hubby. I can just about safely say, he wouldn't be there for you. He would probably tell you, 'you wanted them, you got them, they're your responsibility".

@phaze,

Yes, assert yourself. You are a person, you have views, and feelings, as much as any person.

Whether intentional or not, it sounds as though he disrespects you. People are accountable for how they make others feel. Your husband is accountable for dismissing your experience, and making worse your anxiety, depression, stress.

Is it possible to get him to come to a joint therapy session?

Hugs.

I'm trying really hard to deal with his negativity and selfishness. I'm trying to be assertive and not let it get to me. I do love him, we have only been married 4 months. I didn't think things would change but his lack of work, socialisation and constant pain is impacting greatly on me. I am just trying to stay afloat with my mental health but I am struggling.

You can assert yourself AND allow your feelings at the same time. The two are not exclusive.

Your voice is not less worthy just because you are hurting.

You need support. Is there others in your life you can call upon to help? Even with little things? Housework, cooking?

Xxx

tried talking about it.. sharing how i feel.... he denied doing anything and he's not that bad. ended up being kicked out of the room with 'who do you think you are'.
it was a calm conversation..... i feel crazy as ever

Not crazy, just dismissed, and perhaps overwhelmed with emotion. A just reaction to being dismissed.

Hugs!

@phaze - have you heard of "gaslighting"? I think you should check it out.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html

Brilliant article! Thank you 🙂