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Fear

Fear

I live in fear of what I cannot control ie. The future. I'm not a control freak I just like security. I worry about everything and it keeps me awake at night I cannot shut out the rooftop chatter? I drink too much to dull stuff. Which I know is not good. I'm working on being more confident. I live with males that don't clean up after themselves and this causes stress, as I'm constantly double handling everything and this all take up my time.

7 replies

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In response to: Fear

Re: Fear

Hi @MegglesDitto re control, the future and drinking.

Do you need to be there re cleaning? Talking to someone can help. Puts things in perspective. So can having a break from alcohol and or things that are eating at you. If you cut back on the drink, you might find yourself more able to cope, and/or think what the hell am I doing in this situation. I have and do put myself in all sorts of situations that are somehow only bearable with alcohol. Not trying to preach. I know what I need to do, and have done in the past, but still keep tripping myself up

You are in control.

Take it easy, to use a hackneyed phrase..

In response to: Fear

Re: Fear

Hi @Meggles. Yes thr constant talk going on in your head. Especially loves to chat at slrep time.
I used to use alcohol to numb my emotions and to forget about problems. But it didn't stop the problems being there. In fact it made it worse. It affected my memory and concentration. The bills were still piling up. The problems kept escalating.
I went to my gp and got a referral to a psychologist who specialised in drug and alcohol. I stopped drinking when I went to hospital. Depression was getting worse. Thoughts of suicide.
I now think clearer. My depression is under control. I have happy days & happy moments. I'm still working through some issues, but I'm better.
Talk to your gp. Be honest. They are there to help.
Keep us informed how you get on

In response to: Re: Fear

Re: Fear

Hi @Meggles

No human being has total control over life events or the future. But we do have control over what we choose to do now, how we chose to react to life events; and how to handle our life each day. Security comes from believing that no matter what life throws at us we will find a way to overcome or resign to it and move forward. Handling each event as it arises - "one day at a time" - not looking too forward but living in the present only - this will stop the worry. Alcohol is a temporary escape as when it wears off our troubled state of mind will only rise to the surface again bigger and worse off as the issues have not been dealt with productively or face on.

Ces sara sara - what ever will be will be. It's doing our best each day to work on improving our lot, (and that of others), which is in our power to do so and being happy with that as we can do no more; - then pure resignation For that which we cannot control - learning to live with what we cannot change.

Worry won't change a thing but our good health and peace of mind. Tell yourself this and let go. Tomorrow is another day - a new beginning.

You do have some control over your housemates by setting some rules and consequences. If this doesn't work perhaps looking for better accommodation were others will do their fair share.

In response to: Re: Fear

Re: Fear

Hi @Meggles

Welcome to the forums.

I think it’s human nature to fear the future in some way, and to want to feel in control. I have trouble sleeping sometimes too. I really like @Former-Member's view of being ok with not being able to control everything, but knowing that you are capable of responding to whatever comes your way.

I have trouble sleeping sometimes too. Something I have found helpful is relaxation techniques – you might have come across one where you slowly relax each body part, starting with your toes and finishing with your face. Another one I like is tuning in and out one by one to all the sounds I can hear around me. If my mind is too active for those, I often listen to a podcast, to at least make me focus on something outside my head. Anyways, that’s just me. Is there anything you’ve found helpful?

I’m glad you’ve been able to share what’s been happening here on the forums. Is there anyone you’ve been talking to face to face about all of this? Maybe a friend or someone professional like a psychologist or counsellor?

It's also great to hear that you’re working on being more confident. If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear any strategies that have helped you with that.

In response to: Re: Fear

Re: Fear

Thanx soo much, I haven't taken hols all year so I have a few days off coming up and I'm going away so I think it will help, Just to relax

In response to: Re: Fear

Re: Fear

I know your right, I'm embarrassed, however I need to make it happen thanx

In response to: Fear

Re: Fear

@Meggles. Hello again. A nice break sounds great. Hope you are going somewhere sunny and warm. Am over winter.
None of us are perfect meggles. I too was a big drinker. I've done things I'm not proud of and that weren't good for me. But we live and learn. We don't need embarrassment.
We don't judge here on this site.
Have a great break. And let us know how relaxing it was. All the best
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