Boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn't handle my illness!

Im sorry you are having such a rough time @helpmeifyoucan. Breaking up can be devastating, especially if we aren't the one who initiated it.
How do you normally look after your BPD? You say you are not medicated - does that mean you were in the past? If so, how did you find taking the medicine?
Do you have a psychiatrist or a psychologist who you see?
It sounds like your mood has crashed & you're not able to find a way out - on your own. Maybe go and see your gp & get a referral to a psychiatrist. Let them know you have been having suicidal thoughts.
How would you feel about going to hospital and being looked after for a while - while the professionals look at medication, therapy and other treatment that may help.
As for your relationship, it's hard to fix something when you are broken yourself. Maybe if you get some help for your thoughts,there might be a chance for a rreconciliation. But he is saying he can't do it anymore on his own. It sounds like he wants you to be proactive in your treatment and therefore your relationship.
Seek help through your gp. Let your fella know that you are getting help now

Dear helpme. I think lindy said everything I would've said. AD's would help with the mood swings. Perhaps your friend got to the point where words simply aren't enough. See your Dr, ask for referral to a therapist/psychiatrist. With BPD, it's more than just one thing, depression, I suppose you have periods when you feel able to deal with anything life throws at you, then you 'crash' and 'slump' and nothing seem to make you come back 'up' to where you were. Can I ask why you are not on AD's nor being monitored for 'up's and 'downs'. These mood swings need monitoring and you need to have a 'back-up' where you can call for help. You are obviously permanently down and your friend no longer knows how to support or guide you. Perhaps he's tired too and just needs a breather.

In the past I've chosen not to medicate as I'm afraid of feeling numb from ADs. I'm pretty scared of seeing someone professional about this since I haven't since my diagnosis. A friend of mine is currently in therapy with Headspace and is taking me in later in the week to see if that helps.

I'm just so scared. I'm only 19, and I'm worried that I'm going to be treated like I'm crazy.

I don't really know what the hell to do. I'm normally ok with dealing with everything, but lately I've been super bad. Hopefully seeing a professional helps, but my job is so demanding and constantly puts so much pressure in me that it gets too much. Having him leave me for this just feels selfish, as he knows how much I'm trying to he ok, but I'm not. I'm sick of waking up every morning now. I kind of just want it to be over with.