17 yo refuses help

Thank you. I have called them and explained the situation.

Hi @helephant1969

Welcome to the Forums, I am glad you found us I am Shimmer, one of the moderators here.

Your daughter seems to be going through a really hard time right now. I'm sorry to hear that she has been experiencing feelings of depression and anxiety for the last 2 years.

It's really good that you are encouraging her to seek support so that she can get back on track and feel better. This may involve counselling or medication, or both. The first step is to get her in to see someone. Going through your GP you can get a Mental Health Care Plan for 10 sessions with a counsellor.

headspace is a youth mental health service that works with young people aged 12-25 who are experiencing tough times with their mental health. They are really experienced with engaging young people who might be reluctant to attend counselling. You can look for your local headspace centre through their website and call the Access team, who can help you work out how best to engage your daughter in treatment.

There are also youth specific helplines that also might be able to provide some guidance:

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

eheadspace: 1800 650 890

Parentline: 1300 30 1300

In terms of her talking about suicide, it is important to take what she says seriously and take action, although this may not involve emergency services at this point. There are a few 24/7 crisis numbers that can help give direction about how to manage suicidal thoughts. Here are a couple:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 (or online chat)

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (or online chat)

@helephant1969, it sounds like you are doing a great job in supporting your daughter. I can tell because of the way you describe how "the world looks a lot bleaker from where she sits" - clearly you are very understanding about her perspective on things.

I can appreciate that this would be a challenging time for yourself and your other children as well as your daughter. How are you looking after yourselves?

I see that while I was writing this post you called a mental health service after @utopia's advice - how did that go? Did they give you some direction for your next steps?

Take care,

Shimmer

Hi Shimmer

Thanks for your reply and all the information. I have already given my daughter the link to Headspace. I don't think she has accessed the service. When she is in a good space, she doesn't think she needs help. When she's in a bad space, she doesn't think anyone can help her. That's when she starts talking the S word.

The local community health service took the details and said someone would call in the next day or so. See how it goes from there. Hopefully someone can come to the house and work some serious magic because this is what it is going to take. I just hope this step doesn't give her even greater cause to hate me and hate herself. One thing is for sure, I can't just sit by and do nothing.

All the best, Helen

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@helephant1969 wrote:

When she is in a good space, she doesn't think she needs help. When she's in a bad space, she doesn't think anyone can help her.

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@helephant1969, the way you describe your daughter's unhelpful beliefs about treatment captures a really common outlook for people experiencing mental health issues, which can be very challenging for carers too.

Your desire for a magic solution is understandable, many people feel the same way! Usually it's not that simple, as the person has to get on board with engaging in treatment and change takes time to happen. However, I do hope that the local community health service does help your daughter take a step in the right direction. Have you heard back from them yet?

If you do end up deciding to contact headspace, you can call as her mother to make the initial referral, then the Access team can speak to your daughter.

Keep us updated with how you're going @helephant1969!