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Identity confusion

RG01Senior Contributor31 July 2016, 6:57 pm AEST

Identity confusion

For so many years I've dealt with chronic illness and depression. I've always tried to progress and better myself. I try my best to present as a jovial and positive person. But sometimes it's all too hard and I think everyone just expects I've got this sorted and I'll cope. I don't feel I'm viewed or treated the same by my age group so most for my friends are 10+yrs older. Not that it's a problem but I will always feel misplaced and rejected by my peers thanks to the indenture I was kindly given when the brain tumour was discovered. I've lived the patient life so long I'm even wondering if me /without the stigma exists. Sometimes it truly truly gets me down so much.

6 replies

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In response to: Identity confusion

RG01Senior Contributor31 July 2016, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Identity not indenture. I'm sorry if this sounds all too morbid-I'm just wondering how others have dealt with their illness labelling of categorising them?

In response to: Identity confusion

Unknown userMember31 July 2016, 9:54 pm AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Hello @RG01

Welcome to the forums and thank you for telling us a bit of your story. Living with a chronic and life-threatening illness is incredibly stressful and can change one's perspective of who am I? I think one's values and priorities must change considerably. So I can undersatnd your identity confusion.

Many forum members are living with chronic physical illness as well as mental illness so you will get plenty of understanding and support here. Have a look around on some of the other threads and see which discussions interest you, and you could contribute to.

We like to keep the forum a safe and respectful place for all, and protect people's privacy. So I encourage you to have a read of the forum guidelines here when you have 10 minutes.

I look forward to reading your posts 🙂

kind regards,

Frog

In response to: Identity confusion

RG01Senior Contributor31 July 2016, 11:46 pm AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Thank you and I will

In response to: Re: Identity confusion

AppleblossomSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 4:16 am AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Hello @RG01

You have done well to sort out people who can relate with a bit of maturity and if they are a bit older that is the way. When I was young most people were I socialised with were about 10 years older than me too.

No it is not morbid, it is a health reality for you, and a huge event.

I had one piano student who mostly made friends with other children in hospital because he spent so much time there and did not have a lot of peer contact at school.

For about 5 years I sang in a choir with a lady who had had a tumour removed 30 years ago. She became a mentor for me to learn to live with my disabilities with self-respect. She would make little jokes about it but it truly takes time and self deprecation does not work for everyone. We dont want pity, but a way to manage and interact socially and not worsen the injury, and get on with life. In her case the adrenal gland had been sliced ... and she used to giggle and say "the kn-ife slipped" but she was also a very dignified woman and been head of languages department at a grammar school.

It was a tragedy as she could not work again ... but she did get a life and so was really the first person socially who helped me get a life.

Take care and be proud that you are a survivor.

Apple

In response to: Identity confusion

RG01Senior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 8:15 am AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Thank you, there are some incredible ppl in this world. That one thing being sick has enriched my life with these types of experiences and contacts. Like everything some days it's harder then others. But I do firmly believe it's about my own perception /positive outlook is a must. But there is always a daily reminder that this struggle is real & is not going awry anytime soon

In response to: Re: Identity confusion

pipSenior Contributor01 Aug 2016, 8:28 am AEST

Re: Identity confusion

Dear RG01. Often when we believe we are 'not measuring' up, we tend to try to overcompensate, by trying to outdo ourselves. The hardest thing we ever learn or accept IS the ability to accept ourselves for who and what we are. You are a worthwhile person in your own right. I don't know if you're aware of, or have religious beliefs, but I try to live by the Prayer Of Serenity. Basically, it's learning that some things you can't change, somethings you can. Change what and where you can, accept the things you can't change, and have wisdom to know the difference. Once you can learn this simple everyday rule, you'll be amazed at how peaceful your life will be. It's not easy, life's lessons never are, but the harder the lesson, the more valuable.

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