I hate my life

Hi Fangirl

Thanks so much for joining us here at SANE. Its extremely difficult sometime to get to interact and feel connected. And it sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Please know that the members here value you as a person because they have experienced similar pain themselves. So hopefully you will be supported here and become a regular part of the community.

Please keep up the communication

Regards

NiteKat (Mod)

@Fangirl Hi Fangirl and welcome to the forums. I understand your love for your cat and Ifeel for you. Pets are family and you must be going through a long drawn out grieving process whilst taking care for him/her. We are a friendly group here. It is a safe and caring environment. Have a look around the forums and when you feel ready you might like to post on one or maybe stick to your own threads. I am on most days so dont forget to say hi by using a @ infront of the name of the person you wish to talk to to notify them of your post. Take care. greenpeax

Hi and welcome, @Fangirl ...it's good you've joined the forums here, where you can get social interaction and support from people who understand, and hopefully feel a bit less alone.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation with your cat, and with anxiety and depression. 😞 It's good you have professional support in the form of a psychologist and counsellor.

You might like to join in on some of the social threads here, such as Good Morning! or The Weekly Friday Feast , and get to know some people...you can also type any topic (e.g. anxiety) into the search bar, to find thread on that topic.

I hope you enjoy exploring the forums.

@Fangirl I’m really sorry to hear about your cat. Sending caring thoughts.

Also, struggling with depression while studying, is an extra hard load. I don’t think study is ever a waste of time, if you can cope with the pressure. It can open opportunities, and expand our thinking.

I hope your uni counsellor is able to help you out. Take care of yourself.

@Friendlyguy Hi there, and welcome to the forums. You are welcome to join in anywhere.

Hi Fangirl,

Your post resonates with me as I feel many of the same things. I also struggle with making friends, so have very few. I feel like I want to hang out with them much more than they want to spend time with me, which makes me feel like a burden on them. And I feel so disappointed if they are busy and I can't see them.

I am doing uni online, though am dropping some of my subjects as it is too much for me. I feel really hopeless about my inability to manage a full time load. I wonder whether there is any point me studying, as I don't know whether I will ever use my course to get a job, if I even finish the course. But at least the course does give me something to do and think about. I do find some of it interesting & I feel that at least I can say I am studying to explain why I am not working, which is a slight boost to my self esteem.

I agree having a pet is so therapeutic, especially when alone. My dog passed away unexpectedly 1.5yrs ago and I was really devastated. The only way I could fill that aching hole inside me was to get another dog. For about a year, I had difficulties bonding with the new dog, as I missed the previous one too much. But after a year or so the pain had lessened, and I realised I did love my new dog, even though she was so different. I still have beautiful photos and memories of the dog I lost. It must be difficult for you to know your cat is unwell, but savour your time with him/her and take some photos that you can look back on. I found people so much more understanding of my grief when my dog passed away, than of anxiety or depression. Have you tried Griefline? They have a helpline that I found useful & their website is ok too. Remember it is natural to grieve over someone you love, especially a pet, especially if you are alone, and even if they are still alive.

No one deserves mental health struggles. Try to do what ever tiny things make you feel a little bit better. A nice treat to eat for you and your cat, a scented candle, reading a book your enjoy, or some other hobby. You deserve to feel good. And perhaps your hobbies could help you connect with others. I like reading and go to the library often to change my books and enjoy talking with the librarians. They are not friends, but still nice. When I took up knitting to fill my empty days, I was surprised at the possitive comments people made about what I had created, as I felt that I couldn't do anything worthwhile. Other way to have contact with people is volunteering, you can meet nice people who want to help in the community, and it might help you feel more worthwhile. Perhaps helping with elderly, children's groups, animal shelter, fundraising, charities or whatever interests you.

Good luck with your counsellor & psychologist. And remember if you want someone to talk to - Lifeline or other helplines are happy for you to call. At first I was really afraid to call any of these numbers, as I felt they were for people whose problems were much worse than mine. But now I am ok with calling if I need a bit of extra support.

@CrazyChick I’m just dropping off a welcome here for you.

Your post is so positive, with so much helpful information.

I’m sorry you lost your dog, the love of your life , just over a year ago. But I’m really pleased you have now bonded with your new loyal companion.

Dropping some subjects at uni sounds like it’s been really helpful. All the best with your studies.

You too deserve to feel good, I hope you do. Take care.

Hi Fangirl,

Just thought I'd let you know about some services that I am able to access at my uni, as there probably are similiar services available at your uni.

Disability support services. I have both Autism & related anxiety/depression, so have accessed the disability support primarily using my Autism diagnosis, though the anxiety & depression have a big impact on my studies also. The main thing they have done for me so far is to write a Reasonable Adjustment Plan (RAP) that specifies what adjustments would be helpful for me. For me this is mostly acknowledgement that I may need extensions for assessments because of my conditions. It also specifies that I may have difficulties with group discussions, though as it is an online course, not really much relevance. The RAP only lists the adjustments, and does not name my diagnoses. I know when I was at uni over 10years ago, prior to my diagnosis of Autism, I had significant issues with Anxiety and Depression, but was not comfortable about other people knowing about it. For each assessment that was late I would have to get medical certificates & it was often difficult to get the appointments at the times I needed the documentation. The disabilty services back then said they could only help me if I agreed to my lecturers being told about my conditions, which I was not comfortable with. Now with the RAP, my lecturers already have the heads up that I may need extensions. I can use the RAP as documentation to support requests for extensions, rather than needing a medical certificate each time. I have been told that if I need long extensions, or a request for extension is denied, then the Disability support service will help me with my request. It may be worth asking if you are able to get any support from your University's Disability service.

Peer Mentoring. The disability service connected me to a peer mentor, who I meet with via zoom fortnightly, and frequently through email between times. If I was on campus, I could probably meet with them in person, and their is a social group of other mentors and mentees. There is also a general peer mentor service for students new to the university to help get orientated to uni life and what supports are available at uni. Is there a peer mentor scheme at your university that could help connect you to another student/s, so you don't feel so alone?

Good on you for getting some counselling & getting on this forum for some suppor

Hi Fangirl.

I know exactly what you are going through and could be facing.

When my dog passed away a few years back.. my world was destroyed, 15 years of unconditional love gone.

I still feel sadness from it.

I left the town I was living in. Moved to a city, everytime things looked up. Something horrible was around the corner. Fake friends, unhealthy relationship, homeless and people taking advantage of my kind nature.

So when things were turning dark again, I packed up and moved to QLD.

I did this because a person, whom I helped when they were in my old State(S.A), coexed me to move, promises of emotional support and friendship (which isn't how it turned out). So I found a place that would let me move in on the day of flying in.

2 day's later, they said their Anxiety could not cope with living with someone. I understood, so I moved to the part of QLD I'm currently at.

That's when the female whom coaxed me to move here turned and said She couldn't handle I am Autistic and it made her feel like I was a r3t@rd, yes those were her exact words.

Where I am at now, I don't have friends or people I can go visit or people to visit me. I also suffer depression and anxiety. I have epilepsy as well (yes I am a mixed bag of problems).

I am currently studying a business course, and like you I also worry that I will still try to find a job.