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My 18 yr old has hit a wall - won't get help, is constantly elevated and combative but it's becoming worse. When he's gone (disappears for days on end to a friends house as we live rurally, which he apparently hates) the rest of the family sighs with relief. Everything is my fault, and while I know it's not true, it's worn me down and I don't always stay calm in the face of his accusations and rants. He threatened violence today and while I don't believe he'd follow through, I no longer know what to do. Any advice? It's getting hard to keep my head above my own depression.
Williamtell - you nailed it - it's the sorrow, a deep seated sorrow, that I didn't do better, that I can't do more and that I can't let go. My older son said he thought we'd been dealt the shittiest hand and that it just seemed to get worse. I think a support group would be a good idea, but I'd be terrified of monopolising it 🙂 . I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but that sorrow we mentioned earlier just pervades my thoughts. On the one hand I know there's no use worrying about a future I can't possibly understand in these early days but on the other I despair of what it holds and whether we are now in a cycle of continuation that could go on for decades. The hardest thing is letting go of what might have been for him. I miss the boy he was and the person he is right now so full of contempt and scorn is someone I can't bear. Sorrow is the perfect word.
In response to: Volatile son making threats
GreenTContributor
Re: Volatile son making threats
Hi Hills, I completely hear where you are coming from. I don't have any advice or suggestions but I want you to know you've been heard.
I understand the mix of hope, guilt and absolute maddening frustration. Sometimes it feels good for someone just to hear it and let you know they get you.
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