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Just going to let it come and see what happens

MsNcCasual Contributor09 Aug 2020, 3:04 pm AEST

Just going to let it come and see what happens

I'm lost down some dark awful rabbit hole that seems determined to stop me getting out. I'm trying to be better and be less of this fuck9ng complete mess. I'm an arsehole I'm locked in.my bedroom right now because I ruined a really nice night with my partner by becom8ng a complete arse because they asked me to do something for them and.my brain just went somewhere and I'm stomping and being awful because really I feel like everything is too much and you asked one more thing and on the outside it looked fine but the veneer is so thin right now. She doesn't deserve to be the brunt of my shit because i csnt find a way out. My kid can see it now. I've kept. myself somewhere together and now we are in Victoria locked down a second time. I'm been working from home since March and getting out of bed everyday to go to work was my reason to shower and put my good face on and pretend i walk sometimes and be ok others and the pretend days helped because fake it till you make it and now there is nothing but these walls and people that need me to be more than i am. I pushed all my friends away years ago so now there is nothing and i can't even want to reach out to friends even though i damn well wish they would come pull me out bu tt I'd pro able tell them to go away if they did. So that that I guess we'll damn I'm a mess

2 replies

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In response to: Just going to let it come and see what happens

Unknown userMember09 Aug 2020, 3:27 pm AEST

Re: Just going to let it come and see what happens

Dear @MsNc,

I'm one of the moderators. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down the rabbit hole and have lost the routine of going to work. You're not alone in feeling pushed to the limit by this lockdown. It sounds like you are thinking about your family too, and aware things like 'stomping' could be really hard for them. I hope you find a lot of support and connection here on the forums in this tough time 🌻

Keep reaching out here, and remember if you need to speak to someone in real time there are helplines you can call.

In response to: Just going to let it come and see what happens

Tainted08Casual Contributor10 Aug 2020, 7:20 pm AEST

Re: Just going to let it come and see what happens

Hey i just wanted to say how strong you are for being so brutally honest about your challenging predicament. You actully demonstrated in yiur post a lotof guts and courgage. I just wanted to say well done, that you never need to do today again- that is a promise and that ive f ull faith youll learn to adapt your strengths to the situations we in stage 4 lockdown are facing. Focusing on what you can do right now for example writing about it or getting creative in any way shape or form is an excellent means of letting your frustrations out. I think youll find this will assist you to adapt and give you a positive iutlet and minimise your struggles and the impact you feel they may be having on your family. Youve got this , coming on hear shows youve got major strengths and sharing your heart is a vulnerability not everyone has the capacity to share. Well done!

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