Looking for help

@P12 I really don't know what to say that will help.... but I feel your pain and sadness

we are here to listen if you want to talk

P12,

It certainly sounds like you are in a difficult place in your life at the moment. I promise I won't make any more suggestions! I'll only say that you are not alone, even if it feels that you are. The forums are a great place to share your inner experience, and perhaps sharing and conversing with others has its own value - sometimes when we speak with others we forget that just the act of interacting itself is healing, irrespective of the advice or suggestions we receive. I hope you'll keep posting and participating in the Sane community.

theposterboy

I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. It is a struggle to act happy when you don't feel it. It only causes more pain. If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you. I moved to Australia during the time when the pandemic hit fresh and the borders were closing down. I came and ended up starting a new life in an on off lockdown state. It's nervewracking! My family is back home and I have made no friends since social distancing is the new way of life. So trust me when I tell you I can in someways relate to your feelings of loneliness and sadness. I try to put on a brave face everyday for my loved ones back home so they are comforted by the thought that I am happy in my new home. But being happy is a struggle, I have my breakdowns. There are days you cry and then there are days when you look for hope and then there are better days when you find small reasons to smile. Life is tough! Just know that happiness is a state of mind and you can't be in the same state of mind all the time. No one can! So those who expect you to be happy all the time are just setting unrealistic goals.

Be you and share how you feel. We are all here to listen. ❤❤❤

Hi @P12 ,

I can relate to a lot of what you say. I, too, was told to go into therapy, which ended up being completely disastrous for me. And as you say, they accomplish nothing and cost a fortune to do it.

I can certainly relate to your situation re: loneliness, too. I couldn't agree more about how wrong it is that our societal interest in uniting wayward souls is so lackluster.

Do you know what you want your life to look like? I know that may sound like a silly question, but a lot of people don't. IMHO, knowing what you want your life to be is a crucial step in getting help, because the helper needs to be told precisely what you need, in order to know how to help.

@P12 I’m not going to offer any suggestions either. But a am listening and caring. That’s all I can offer you. Take care.

Oh@P12 I'm sorry you feel so down and sad. All I can say is welcome to the forum and I hope you find some solace here. I did. Just having people to talk to who understand and don't judge is wonderful, a new experience for me. The fact that others appreciated me being here really boosted my confidence to the point that I started making friends outside the forum, mainly by allowing people to see more of the real me, complicated as I am. I wish you well.

@Abeeryou have been through a lot since arriving in Australia! I loved your post.

Hi @Maggie @Abeer and anyone passing this way.

Thank you for reading my concerns and offering your support.

I have a clear vision of what I would like to achieve, but I apparently cannot achieve it.

1. I would like to make a friend, someone I am genuinely interested in and someone genuinely interested in me. I have tried to achieve this goal for more than 10 years. Sometimes I get close, but when I ask others, they ultimately say no. I've asked for feedback to improve my success but recieve none that I comprehend. A counsellor told me I should make friends with myself or nature, but my experience is this is not sustainable because it causes the crying I mentioned.

2. I would like to contribute to society. My talents are apparently unneeded by society so I exercise my abilities outside of work hours which leads to exhaustion. Society is apparently based on the premise that someone has a use for an individual's talent. My psychologist tells me to do exactly as I am asked, which causes me distress because I am often asked to do things I disagree with, but apparently must do if I am to survive. My experience is that society and its laws discriminate against people who think differently and are outsiders.

3. I would like to have practical skills. My psychologist believes my brain is unable to make sense of non-rational experiences. If I am forced to act in a certain way in order to survive, I must rote learn. I don't think this is sustainable because it negatively affects my physical and mental health.

Hi @frog
Thank you for the warm response.
Stay blessed!💕

@P12 I strongly believe that all 3 of your goals are achievable. But let's take a breath and start one at a time.

You said you want a friend you can trust. I can't promise you that I am befitting for that role. However, I can try to fit the role. I'll probably fail, but human relations are all about trying and failing and trying again. Sooo, let me know if you want a friend who is naturally good at screwing up, but may eventually get things better.🤗🤗

Thank you Abeer. How may I help you?