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Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Boundary setting is an important, albeit difficult, part of self-care when a loved one is living with complex mental health challenge. This may be harder and more complex for some than others. By setting boundaries, you are taking responsibility for how others treat you and your own needs seriously.

Join us for a 1.5 hour text-based chat with our special guests ARAFMI as we share ideas as to how we can set boundaries and look after our own mental health whilst caring for loved ones. This all happens on the night, right here in this thread!

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is this?

The event runs from 7pm - 8.30pm AEST on the 26th of August. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Our text based event takes place right here! As it is text based, no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

99 replies

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In response to: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

  • I've relied on the safety plan several times in the past, although we need a new one as Ms Teen ripped it up in a activated moment. (Was worked out with the Psychologist & I think I should have some input into it too)
  • Maintenance & action plan that I have made for myself to refer to constantly.
  • Regular counselling for me.
  • Consistent reflection on why I have this boundary - for both of us: Is it healthy/appropriate or enabling/avoiding etc?

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

I don't have a trusted friend to talk to @Bron , @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

@Bron It is great to see Arafmi's carer helpline is 24/7, how wonderful to have that available through the night.

@Shaz51 Thank you for reminding us all about that thread, a simple but helpful graphic to have handy

@luckymeaunty Yes, love to hear this. Would be keen to hear more about how this process looks for you in the forums. It is a powerful but simple tool to journal our thoughts, yet so easy to neglect to do so Thank you for sharing.

@Dama Stacks of books I'd imagine! Our wonderful @Shaz51 may have some suggestions? @Bron Also mentioned A best seller called ‘Boundaries’ by Drs Cloud & Townsend and Dr Henry Cloud’s online course in boundaries.

@FindingStrength These are incredible notes, thank you. Also big props to your use of the word "activation" instead of trigger or episode. An accurate and kind description of our loved ones pain.

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

reflection on the why's of the boundary. really helpful to be, thank you.

In response to: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

@Dama here are some books, for a start.
• Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free – Nancy Levin (2020)
• No Guilt, No Games, No Drama – Steph Sterner (2018)
• A best seller called ‘Boundaries’ by Drs Cloud & Townsend (2018) and Dr Henry Cloud’s online course in boundaries (Christian authors)
• Where to draw the line – Anne Katherine (2000)
I like Audible so that I can listen to the book in the car or in when I go for a walk. I also tend to like YouTube talks.

In response to: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Also, working on my self esteem, worth & value is so important!

Finding as I value myself more its getting easier to be firm & not fall into the old patterns of guilt & over-care.

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

@Shaz51 Sorry to hear this is the experience. We are all your friends here on the forum. You never know what life may hold around the corner in terms of connection, but until then we can listen and hear you on your journey. Sometimes I do think I am better friends with the podcasts I have on loop then my IRL friends ... the power of technology.

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

@FindingStrength, well done. Better self-esteem, worth and value. You have found a golden key.

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Yes thank you @Former-Member , @Bron

The forum is awesome to me

In response to: Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

Re: Online Event // Setting Boundaries as a Carer - with ARAFMI // Weds Aug 26th, 7-8.30pm AEST

I hear you. It is so hard to really discuss what we are going through with friends with no lived experience.

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