I'm just exhausted and over it.

I have some complex Mental Health issues and this last year has been an absolure nightmare. I have had to deal with a complete drastic change in my mindset and I've not yet been able to come to terms with it in a positive way.

I used to be a nice person and now I'm not. I used to be warm and bubbly. Now I am wary and silent.

I used to love singing. I haven't sung in months. The thing that happened completely broke and changed me as a person.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel so incredibly lost and lonely.

I've been in a funk for far longer than I care to admit, and I am just too exhausted all the time to have enough energy to do anything about it.

I am sick of having to rehash everything again with another total stranger.

I haven't slept properly in months, I haven't been able to do the 'standing under water to clense' thing in longer than I should have because I just....

Can't.

Let alone the other 'normal human adult care about yourself' thing.

I don't even know where to begin looking for professional help.

The Dr's give me a referral and wants me to find my own psych.... Like dude, I just moved here? Please help me?

And I just am too..... done. I can't do it again.

Not to mention trying to find my way around on public transport, with COVID all around me, so I try and limit my outings per week..... so it sucks trying to have the mental capacity to do appoinments and shop and other errands all in one day.

I also don't have much of a support system here, besides my partner and their family (who have been great btw). But I want and need some friends... that seems like such hard work at the moment though.

I'm just so tired and over it all...

I think maybe I've hit rock bottom. But I dont think I have an ounce of energy to care.