I'm new....

Hi.... well I suppose, I'm not sure where to start.
This is new to me and a little strange but thought I'd give it a go.
Well I have had 4 miscarriages at fairly early stages ( 8-13 weeks)
My partner and I have been trying for 5 years with no success.
I have a 6 nearly 7 year old little girl ( not my partners child)
Now my sister and law is only 3 weeks off having her baby (thats another story)...another friend has just had hers today and a lot of our friends are due soon.
It drives me crazy....having to spend any length of time or even thinking of seeing them kills me.
I feel like im failing at everything, My work, being a mum and a partner.
My lil girl keeps asking when im having a baby (and so does everyone else)
I cry at night and have paralising frustration and can't sleep or think clearly.


Not knowing whats going on in my head or body is destroying me slowly....im exhausted and so over all the emotions.....
I feel like I cant talk to anyone without being a birden or judged on how I feel.

Can somone help....just talk with no judgment please