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Massive Trigger

utopiaSenior Contributor25 July 2016, 9:35 pm AEST

Massive Trigger

Oh shit. Just made a huge mistake and watched 4corners program on children in detention /prison in the NT. I couldn't look away as they showed the cctv footage of the guards torturing these kids.
I want to scream and swear. Most of all I want to physically and psychologically mess those adults up. I'm horrified. I'm ..... I feel like being sick.
What the f*** are we doing to our children. How the f*** is this allowed to happen. How on earth are these 'adults' getting away with this. But most of all - what will happen to these children now.
My heart is beyond broken. And all I know is that my tears won't save any of them.

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In response to: Massive Trigger

KurraSenior Contributor27 July 2016, 9:52 am AEST

Re: Massive Trigger

@utopia
Very few of us are in a position to change what is happening in detention centres apart from writing to the relevant state and federal members of Parliament.

There is a saying "Charity begins at home" and this is where we can make a difference. Many people think of volunteering as working in an op shop but that's just one small option. I have worked as a volunteer for the last 30+ years with a youth group nurturing young people to be the best they can be. As it happens I'm working in mental health although the youth group is not mental health based.

Volunteering is available through the SES, RFS, St John's First Aid and so many more. Volunteering has helped me enormously. I started at a time when I didn't have a job but gained so much that I have continued throughout my working life.

It's but a thought but is a way you too can make a difference.
💕💜💕

In response to: Re: Massive Trigger

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 July 2016, 3:58 am AEST

Re: Massive Trigger

Oh dear I think I have finally seen what you are talking about. @utopia and @Former-Member I have been preoccupied with my own dramas.

spit hoods and restraint chairs?

My gut is turning... tearing up

I sucked in my breathe ...

I am going all tense

will log off computer and go do music ....

am actually going into my old involuntary rocking

.....

so it will take a bit of music ... back to the Waldstein before I am ready to sing

but it is better it is out ... I prefer to know than to keep that garbage hidden

I will cope now as I am an adult and out of those places ...

I have been in leather restraints at 16.

thanks @utopia for drawing my attention to it.

In response to: Massive Trigger

utopiaSenior Contributor30 July 2016, 4:45 pm AEST

Re: Massive Trigger

@Appleblossom. I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that it's probably not a good thing for some people to see - me included. In the past I could have seen this and been angry. Now I'm more sensitive - since my MI - a part of me wishes I didn't see it. But, although I was highly distressed - too many feelings hitting me at once (I can only cope with one emotion at a time) - I felt better the next day. I was able to do something, even if it was only signing petitions. So I survived those feelings.
Sounds like it has brought up some painful memories for you. I'm sorry. I hope you are able to unwind- destress via your music.
Let us know how you are going (when you log back on).
All the best

In response to: Re: Massive Trigger

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Aug 2016, 1:59 am AEST

Re: Massive Trigger

I am ok @utopia you did put a warning in and I was cautious .. and from @Former-Member's post I knew it was frightful ... but ... I have a young man to care for and my mother put her head in the sand ... with diastrous consequences .. while we battled in the real world ... I want to know what is out there so I can understand my children's struggles.

So I take full responsibility for watching ... and it was off this site anyway ..on a news site ... it was also on our TV and son had watched a little ... so ... ignorance is not always bliss ... it is better we know ...

It triggered an old memory which is good in the long run cos it helped me revisit it and put it to back bed ... but it did take a few days of quiet piano music and mostly sleeping to get over it.ostly in my life too many things happened too quickly so I had to put my issues on hold while I dealt with siblings or children etc ...

I hurt my knee with pacing .. and my wrists are wearing out so backing off on piano ... not reading to waste breathe on recorder or singing ... but I also think if I can integrate all these memories and issues properly .. I will be stronger for it ... so no self-blame pleez.

Tomorrow I have 2 alternative health appointments and Wednesday a movie with a support group ... pleez dont worry about me .. but it helps me to put it out there.

In response to: Massive Trigger

utopiaSenior Contributor02 Aug 2016, 2:13 pm AEST

Re: Massive Trigger

Sounds like you know how to calm yourself down after a trigger @Appleblossom. That's a great skill to have. And a few days of pacing and wearing out your wrist joints will be worth I think if you are able to deal with that memory.
Movie night sounds good. What movie are you seeing?

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