Trying to stay Sane

@Anastasia I keep forgetting to come over here and check your thread. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry things are a big pile of poop 😞 🤗🤗🤗

Please forgive me if you're not tagged, my brain is mush.

Today the hospital let us in...

Mixed emotions as now the end is very near.

They have agreed to let Dad come home next week only if I am at their home as his carer 24/7 with Mum. His wishes are to see his time out at home with family.

Today Mum and I had lessons on pain relief and care.

I'm scared.

I know we'll cope but it's after that I'm worried about. I feel like I've had to "grow up" overnight.

My boy is still in hospital too. He's not doing well with Dads situation, I'm grateful he's in a safe environment but he's due home in just over a week.

@Bow @Eve7 @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Appleblossom @NatureLover @HenryX

Just adding @pancakes in here for info above.

Thank you for providing us all with an update @Anastasia , during such a difficult and heartbreaking time. My thoughts and my heart are with you. I ask the universe to provide you and your family the strength you will need, to get through this. And I pray that your Dad does not suffer.

Emelia 😔💔🙏

Thank you precious @Emelia8

Heartbreaking 💔

Hello @Anastasia

My turn to ask to be included in the sentiments that @Emelia8 has expressed with the assurance that our thoughts, care and concern are extended to you and your family.

Love

@HenryX

Hi, dear @Anastasia ...thank you for the news. I'm so glad you were allowed in to see your Dad!

Also glad that they will let him come home, wow.

Am sending many wishes all day whenever I remember, for all of you and especially your Dad. Will start sending wishes for you and your family for "after" (as you mentioned). 💔

Sending many hugs and much 💚

@Anastasia

It is good you were let in to see him and that he is coming home for his last days.

Find websites that are realistic and have helpful and healthy approaches to dying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv1HvNBouXc

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2021/death-cafes.html

All we can do is walk and sit with you from a distance.

 I am noting that "the services" are letting you carry a large load in dealing with 2 very vulnerable family members at once. I hope they are able to genuinely support your son while your father goes through his rite of passge, and your son goes through his (dealing with significant loss). It may be confronting for your boy, but it may well be good for him to see a natural process and eventually help him decide to live his life.

Thank you @Appleblossom 🙏

I've reached out to the nurses at the hospital my son is at. They are being super vigilant watching and sitting and talking/listening to my boy. I have a plan in place to have someone who genuinely cares in there with him when and if I have to tell him "the news" whilst there. I'm grateful he's there right now. I couldn't possibly cope if he wasn't. I'm nervous about him coming home but all I can do right now is focus on now.

Thank you for the links. I will look. I have educated myself right through the last few weeks and Dad is "text book" following along with the path, he must have read the book too! Jokes of course.

I don't know how you are and your boy, I think I read you played music together, just perfect, nothing better than bonding over a shared passion. How lovely. I hope all is ok for you Apple?

Thank you for being here dear friend 💛

@Anastasia

Last night he asked to go for a long walk and talk. He was thoughtful, but seems a little low. Probably taking into consideration how much his circumstances are now limited due to his actions. I was encouraging him to find some of his pleasure and get his head and heart to talk. That it is alright to listen to his feelings. He blocks me and himself a lot. Yes, he has a 'should' and 'ought' mindset even though we are doing a 'dept justice' walk. Eg he is on a curfew unless he is with me and not allowed a mobile phone. We are facing that he has to stay here legally, due to bail conditions, and turning a room into useful space for him to do music and have as a study.

I have applied for study and moving bookshelves around and making my bedroom and combined sleep and study space. His room is much smaller than mine so he deserves a dedicated space.

You're an amazing mother @Appleblossom. I have no doubt your boy is grateful from the depths of his soul that he has you in his corner 💛